Even Soldiers have birthdays

Its Trevor's 19th birthday today. I always thought this day would be celebrated getting ready for mission. Well, I guess we are- sorta. This mission will be served for his country in the war torn country of Iraq. My neighbor, who is a Marine staff seargent tells me that this particular unit, who have been in Iraq many times, spends most of their time builing up what has been torn down. He also tells me that they spend a majority of their time teaching the gospel.

When he leaves this shirt will have an addition to it. This week I will sew his Lance Corporal chevrons on (after I take them off of Donovan's shirt in order to sew his Corporal chevrons)

I am not sewing the chevrons on this coat, however. It takes me 4 hrs per sleeve. I'll pay someone to do it for me.

When he comes home next year, he will no longer be a teenager and a boy, but a man with many experiences behind him- some of which I am sure I will not want to know about.

But today we'll blow out the candles and eat the cake and forget that those things wait. Today he is my boy, my child, my son, My stripling warrior.

Happy birthday Trevor.

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Indeed.

For Megan

Picture by Jessica

Just because I think you are an awsome person and am so glad that I know you.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MEGAN!!!!

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Indeed.

The Least of These

Matthew 25:34-40

34 Then shall the King say unto them on his right hand, Come, ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world:

35 For I was an hungred, and ye bgave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in:

36 Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me.

37 Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink?

38 When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee?

39 Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee?

40 And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the bleast of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.

I have been looking around to see what things I could do to be more of service to those around me. I realized that there are some things that I have already been doing and have found some that I have started doing. I am not going to list them here because I mostly want to just do them without a lot of fanfare and publicity. And I think the good feeling is enough reward. I know and that is good enough.

However, there are times that I think it would be ok for me to let you know about ways that we can all serve those in need.

Remember the family I told you about earlier in the week? There will be a memorial for them Friday, August 29th at 7:30 pm at the CHOICE offices located at 7879 South 1530 West, West Jordan, Utah. Details on a memorial assistance fund to help the Rabanales children Josue, Daniel & Lara can be found here.

Or there is this family torn apart in an different plane crash earlier this month. This crash took place closer to home, St. Johns, AZ- Not far from where I grew up. There are auctions going on all around the blogosphere to help with recovery funds for this family. My friend Lindsey has a quilt up for auction here. Auction goes until Sunday. You can find lists for other auctions at Design Mom or bird on the lawn.

I am going to post links to the donation funds for both these families on my sidebar.

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Indeed.

That song in my head

You know how you get song stuck in your head? Sometimes it drives you insane because you really don't like the song, but it just won't go away. Other times it is a song you really like and you are glad it is there. Well, until it has been stuck for days on end and everytime you turn on the radio they are playing it.

Sometimes the song is a calming, peaceful place that is like a balm of Gilead to your heart and soul. Today I have had one of those songs stuck in my head and I just wanted to share.

My computer is still having issues and needs to go back in so I can't listen to any clips to find a good one, so listen here, I know this one works.

Jesus the Very Thought of Thee

Jesus, the very thought of Thee, With sweetness fills my breast; But sweeter far Thy face to see, And in Thy presence rest.

No voice can sing, no heart can frame, Nor can the memory find A sweeter sound than Thy blest name; O Savior of mankind!

O Hope of every contrite heart, O Joy of all the meek; To those who fall, how kind Thou art! How good to those who seek!

But what to those who find? Ah, this no tongue or pen can show; The love of Jesus, what it is None but His loved ones know.

Jesu, our only joy be Thou, As Thou our prize wilt be; Jesus, be Thou our Glory now, And thru eternity.

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Indeed.

To those left behind

Matthew 6:7 7 But when ye pray, use not vain repetitions, as the heathen do: for they think that they shall be heard for their much speaking.

I have been thinking about this scripture today and how often the phrases in my prayers are vain repetitions and trite phrases said because that is what we say in our prayers. "Thank thee for the food" "Bless the missionaries" "Bless the sick and afflicted" "Comfort those that need comforted" blah, blah, blah and on to my myriad lists of what I think my life should be.

Or I turn on the t.v. and see some big news story about some tragedy somewhere and I say, "Oh how bad for them. We should remember to pray for them." So we do, "Bless those affected by ___" the end, up off my knees and onto what I think is more important. I mentioned it in a prayer so I don't have to think about it anymore.

Unless the tragedy, the need, the want, the whatever is personal, the words I use are trite and mean nothing. My thoughts have moved on and my feelings are not even engaged in participation too often I am sorry to say.

I have been thinking today about why I do that. What I came up with is because I don't think about it in terms of real and actual people. When my nephews were in Argentina on their missions the past 2 years, praying for the missionaries was not ambiguous, but personal. I prayed specifically for Elder Hulsey and Elder Jenkins. I prayed for the people in the area they were serving in, for the members and the non-members, for softened hearts, for guidance, for tolerance, for love. Not some global unseen, unknown missionary. When I think about it in real actual children of God, living and breathing and picture them in my mind and take the time- no, make the time to make it personal, the prayer is different.

Yesterday on the news there was a report of another plane crash. This time in Guatemala. Most of the people on the plane did not survive. Some of them were Americans. All of them were on a humanitarian assistance trip. I heard about it and was saddened for the families and friends left behind. Then I moved on as I so often do.

This morning I logged on to read a friend's blog. It was a farewell tribute to two wonderful friends of his. Two friends that were on that plane. Two friends that left a legacy of service behind and emptiness in the hearts of those they served as well as those that served along with them. After reading about them, I wish I had known them. And I was chastened that I forgot that to someone, somewhere, the people on that plane were important and moving on will not be easy or swift.

I also was reminded of a covenant made when I was baptized a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I covenanted to mourn with those that mourn. So today, I mourn the loss of these wonderful servants of God. I mourn for the heavy hearts of those left behind to pick up and continue on. And I will try harder to be more Christlike in my service, more observant in my daily life of those that need, and less trite and repititous in my prayers.

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Indeed.

Just some pictures

Jessica took scads of pictures when we were at the temple on Saturday. We needed to be there about 90 minutes early, so the kids had a while to wait outside for us. I knew Jess would go crazy with the camera and get some good shots, so I just handed her mine. That gave her two to play around with, hers and mine. Here are just a few of what she took.

Jacob, Trevor, Ethan and Matthew

What cracks me up is this, Trevor is the oldest in the picture but standing by the youngest

Brandi

She wanted the water to show behind me, but the sun was in my eyes. I would close them, she would count to three and then I would open them so that we could get one without me squinting. We tried the other side of the fountain so the temple was in the background, but the sun was even worse there. We'll have to go back up on another day and take some more.

Jake Trevor Ethan Matthew

Brandi

Donovan, Hunter and Kristina at the Temple door

Ethan

Brandi, Matt, Jake

Brandi, Trevor, Matt

outside on temple grounds

I have no idea. Jake just wants to go back to bed.

She is such a poser. We have the best shots of her. Maybe I'll do a post someday of Brandi's poses through the years.

I think you can just click here and see some more of her pictures that she took and posted on facebook.

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Indeed.

The Good Part

There are parts of being parent that I just do not like. I absolutely hated being sleep deprived for years and years of middle of the night feedings. Or the nights I spent cleaning up after sick kids, changing bedding and pajamas only to turn around and do it all again a couple of hours later. Laundry. Mountains and mountains of endless laundry. Just when you think you are done with the laundry, someone changes their clothes. Parent teacher conferences are not high on my list of enjoyable things to do either, but they are higher on the list than the endless elementary school plays and programs.

By the time my kids get to jr. high, the programs and plays are actually enjoyable and parent teacher conferences are not so bad either. But then I hate having to say "no" and then trying to give them a reason they understand other than "because I am the mom and I said so". My boys really hate it when I say this, "Because I am the mom and I make the rules. When you are the mom, you can make the rules." Ha, I like to pull that one, because they never will be the mom!

I really hate teaching my kids to drive. I let one of them drive me somewhere the other day and I know I didn't teach them to drive like that. I had to go buy a box of hair dye afterwards. But more than teaching them to drive, I hate waiting up for them. They are always on time and very good about coming in and letting me know when they are home. I just really hate that they are out there in the world and so much can go wrong. And as much as I would like to think that my kids would never..., I know reality is not always what a parent thinks it is.

Reality is sometimes the bad part of being a parent. The hardest part is not taking it personally, not feeling like a failure as a parent when your child makes wrong choices. Your wear out your scriptures and your knees. You go through a lot of Kleenex. And you grieve all of the unmet hopes and dreams you had for them the day they were born. But most of all, you love them. I have even been known to say, "I wish it was recorded in the scriptures how long Alma had to pray for his son before he returned to the Lord."

But then, something happens in that child's life, and a heart is softened and is turned back to the Lord. Then, then the transformation is amazing to behold. Watching it unfold is a gift from on high and it is easy to not take it personally, but instead give the thanks and the glory to Him that deserves it.

Then you get the good part of being a parent- watching your child make the right choices. Watching him do the things that he should be doing. Watching him take care of his own family. Watching him honor the priesthood and set a good example for his brothers and sisters. Knowing that when his brother is hurt at training, he can give a blessing. Knowing that when the two of them are deployed in a couple of months, they will be going as Stripling soldiers in the strength of God. Being there when your son is sealed to his wife and then as their child is sealed to them and they start down the road to become an eternal family, That is the good part of parenting and it makes all the bad parts worth it.

Donovan, Hunter, Kristina

My oldest stripling soldier

Me and all my kids and their dad

Jessica, Matt, Me, Donovan Kristina and Hunter, dad, Ethan, Trevor (the other stripling soldier)

Brandi and Jacob

Both families

Kristina's family on the left Donovan's on the right and in front

Sitting on the temple stairs.

Hunter was so good the whole time. When they brought him into the sealing room you could tell he had been crying, but he was so calm. Kristina was afraid he would be upset the whole time, but I told her that the Lord would send someone to be with him on this special day and that Hunter would be able to feel the spirit. Probably even more than we did.

We missed those of you that could not be with us, but know that you were there in spirit and would have come if it had been possible.

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Indeed.

Is it really Friday?

It has been a busy week for me. But that is ok, I would rather be busy than bored. If this week is any indication of how the school year is going to go, it is going to be great. When I walked into my office this morning, there was an envelope with my name on my desk. Inside was a thank-you note from the administration for helping make this week a good one for the students. Along with the note was a $10 gift card to Chili's. I know all of the staff got one, but it was great anyway. I never got even a verbal thank-you at the last school and I have already recieved 2 gift certificates from this administration just for showing up at work. And as I was redoing some files for one of the assistant principals yesterday, she walked by and said, "Sandra, you're the best".

I already feel part of this faculty and staff. I am always busy with something to do. When the freedom bell rings at the end of the day, I look up in surprise that it has gone so quickly. At the school I transfered from, I would have been twiddling my thumbs and watching the clock. Actually by this time in the school year I would have marked my calendar with how many days left in the school year, how many weeks, and if I felt adventerous I might have even calculated hours left. I would have also finished all three of David Woolley's Promised Land series so that I could be re-aquainted with everyone when I get my book 4 (it is pre-ordered so I should get it the day it comes in). I loved the teachers and most of the students there, and miss them (Hi Lindsey- how is the big move coming?) The problem came in that I was not allowed to do what I was hired to do. Those duties were taken away from me one by one and given to somone else just because I am a woman and he was a man. I read my reference letter from the principal and was told what the vice-principal said about me when he was called by my current administration. Both of them were glowing referals and they both tried to talk me into staying but I really did not go to school for 7 years to be a hall monitor. But that is all I am going to say about my former job, because I still get angry and don't want to be angry today.

Tonight is our first football game of the season. I am going to supervise (read that as stamp hands as people come through the gate) and get paid for it. My lunch duties have gotten easier as I learn the computer program and don't feel 2000 students breathing down my neck while I try to make change. I am getting to know the school, I recognize some of the students now, I don't have very much hall duty, I am busy from the moment I walk in the school until I leave, I have a computer at my desk now and all the programs I need to keep track of student grades work, the police officer and I have established a working relationship and we have identified some at risk students already, and it is a much better environment to work in. In fact, I lost 5 pounds this week- without even trying. How cool is that?

Oh, and my business is growing and I am sponsoring a give-away here .

But the best thing of all? My son and his sweet wife and their baby are being sealed in the Salt Lake temple in the morning. I have prayed for this day for so long.

I had better get off the computer now or no one will have supper before I have to leave and no clean clothes to wear to the temple in the morning.

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Indeed.

Did you know

School started in full force yesterday. I found out that if you are assigned to "lost student" duty and have to help the students find the classrooms they can't find, the school becomes familiar pretty quickly. I also found out that it is not as big as it seemed last week.

I also found out that if you are asked to run a till in the lunch room and you have never run one before and all 2,000 students try to pay with varying methods of crumpled bills, loose change and smudged checks, and all of those said 2,000 students will attempt to get their food and pay you at the same time, that your till will not balance at the end of the lunch period. But the second day it will.

Did you know that staff members get paid $10/hour to sell football tickets, but less than that to tutor and help students in school? Or that teachers get $30/hour to sit in the lunch room with students that have more than 6 abscences but staff only get $8/hr to do that? How about the fact that if you send your college transcript to the state department of education, they can tell you what you are qualified to teach based on classes you have taken. And that they will work with you on getting your teacher credentials so you can teach and make the above mentioned $30/hr to monitor attendance school?

Second day of school is over and I have already learned a lot.

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Indeed.

Chest of Childhood

So I am sitting here waiting to finish the last couple loads of laundry. My dryer is having issues right now. The parts are ordered but seem to be taking a long time to come in. Almost as long as it takes to dry a load of towels. The kids are bathed and in bed and I thought I would write something deep and inspiring. Instead, I ended up with a short story. Hmmm, don't know where that came from. Here it is. It is raw and unedited and just the way I typed it. A first draft.

She didn't remember the last time she had been up here. It must have been before Henry died. But that was 20 years ago, surely she had come up since then. She probably just couldn't remember. It was so hard to recall things. Well, it didn't matter anyhow, she was here now and there was much to be done. How on earth could she ever decide what to do with a lifetime of memories?

She pulled the cord above her. The day that Henry installed that bare bulb it was a marvel to her, but today she took no notice other than to turn it on. My, how dust covered everything in the attic. A complete contrast to the rest of her home. The home she had spent a lifetime making memories in. Henry had purchased it the day after she gave birth to their first son. She had made sure it was filled with love, laughter and the smell of apple pie . And from the looks of the stuff piled in the attic, she had filled it with other things as well.

It didn't take her long to decide that Aunt Miranda's purple sette and ottoman could go. Age and dust did not improve the looks of it any at all. She added the dried flower arrangements, the rolls of 50 year old wallpaper, the patterns she used to sew her daughters' dresses and Henry's stack of fishing magazines.

Then there were the things for the yard sale. The lamps, Henry's bowling ball and golf clubs, but Mark might want the fishing pole. Kendra would probably want the dress form but the bird cage could be sold. She hoped it wouldn't take too long for the boys to drag it all downstairs. She hadn't realized that so much had been brought up here through the years.

When she got to the old trunk at the back of the room, she was surprised. She hadn't realized that it was still here. She stood staring at it for a long time, afraid that if she opened it the magic would be gone and it would be filled with junk instead. Finally she knelt in front of it, unlatched the old metal clasps and heaved the lid up. Her breath caught in her throat as her eyes skimmed the contents.

The first thing her hand lit upon was Mary's yellow dress. She closed her eyes and thought about the first time Mary wore it. She had spent all morning baking and decorating the cake. She had carefully formed the cake to be the dress for a doll that looked just like Mary. She had tinted the icing to the exact color of this dress. Mary was so thrilled when she saw it. She had taken to calling Mary "Sunshine" after that.

She lay the dress aside and took out Don's cowboy outfit, complete with six-shooters and fringe on the vest. She recalled the stick horse she had fashioned for him with an old broom and an empty Clorox bottle for the head. She had glued brown yarn for the mane. How many times had she had to tell him that he could not wear his spurs to bed because it ripped the sheets? If she listened hard enough she was sure she could hear him out in the yard rounding up the bad guys.

Next was the porceline tea set that Elizabeth got from Santa the year she turned six. Elizabeth loved having tea parties with her friends. She would make a batch of cookies and stir up a pitcher of lemon aid and take it in to the girls. Somehow it always changed into tea and crumpets by the time she made it into the playroom. Sometimes though, Elizabeth would invite just her and they would have a grand time pretending that they were in a palace waiting for the prince to come and do what ever it was that princes did when they came from wherever they were coming from.

Kendra's dolls. Oh the hours Kendra spent fashioning dolls and their wardrobes from the scraps of material leftover from a sewing project. Kendra would plan and sketch and pin and cut and then sew it all together. She remembered the year of the flood and the many homes that were ruined. When Kendra learned that many of the children's toys had been destroyed she could not work fast enough to make dolls for all the girls. That was a happy time of service for the family.

She almost missed the black bag lying in the corner. It was small and lumpy. Mark's marbles. She opened it and spilled a few out into her hand. The prized green cat's eye that was Mark's favorite caught her eye first. She poked through the marbles looking for her favorite. Yes, there it was. Clear white with cloudy swirls through it. And Henry's favorite, the taw with a double ribbon core that he had given Mark. Mark had used it when he won the championship at the town's founder's day celebration. Henry sure was proud that day.

The slamming of a car door brought her up with start. That would be the boys ready to start hauling stuff outside. Oh dear, how long had she sat here lost in her memories? Well, the first thing she would have them take would be this old trunk. She would have them take it to the parlor. Later today, when the girls got here with supper and the boys were exhausted with their labors, she would open it for them. Her magic filled chest of childhood.

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Indeed.

School daze

We had sophomore day at school today. What that means is that all the sophomores come- no juniors or seniors, just sophomores. There was an assembly for them and then they went around the school with a teacher for a tour and then off to the park adjacent to the high school for pizza and then home. It wasn't such an easy day for me. It started at 7:30 with faculty meeting where we went over the policies and procedures. That was insisted upon by the school district office. The principal told us which ones were important to know, where to find them on the district website and then he moved on. We had to go over fire drills, lock down drills, bomb threat drills, and I can't remember most of the information we went over.

One bright spot of the meeting, the new faculty and staff was introduced and when they introduced me I got a round of applause. I guess they haven't had a tracker to work with the counselors for a very long time. I don't have an office, computer, phone or even a stapler, but I do have a desk tucked in a corner of someone else's office. But no chair.

I spent the day helping with those students that still needed to register and pay fees. I took their paper work, made sure it was filled out right, handed out temporary ID cards and the neon green paper that said the student had turned in the paperwork. I then directed them to the financial office if they needed to pay their fees or to the text book depository if they had already paid. Oh, and issuing parking stickers.

Then I walked around the school to get the lay of the land.

I am feeling a bit overwhelmed right now. At the jr. high I left, there were about 850-900 students and maybe 30 teachers and 3 halls with classrooms. This school had 2,000+ students, 75-100 teachers, I have no idea how many halls I walked down because every time I thought I was at the end of a hall, there was a corner and more hall. There is an upstairs with even more classrooms. I have had children attending this school for the last 8 years and I didn't even know there was an upstairs! We have 4 "satellite" buildings- trailers with classrooms because we don't have enough classrooms. There is an addition being built onto the school, but it won't be ready until next year and should double the size of the school.

I think I will probably walk around the first couple of weeks with that dazed look. Just like the sophomores had today. But a bright side, I wore my pedometer a couple of times at the jr. high and I used to walk 3-4 miles a day. So if I can do that much in that tiny school, I should be able to do at least double that if not more. But right now I feel that first day of school, I don't want summer to end tiredness, so I think I will just go read.

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Indeed.

Flowers

You Are A Lily

You are a nurturer and all around natural therapist. People see you as their rock. And they are able to depend on you. You are a soothing influence. You can make people feel better with a few words. Your caring has more of an impact than even you realize.

What Flower Are You?

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Indeed.

Back and forth

Update. I took my laptop in this morning. Someone did indeed drop what he was doing and get right to work on it. 2 hours later there was a call saying it was done. I didn't get back in to pick it up for about another 2 hours though. But when I got it home... you guessed it, it still was not right. When I called and asked about it, they guy asked me, "Well, I can give you a way to work around that, you have to go into the control panel, open this program, use this setting to open another program..." . When I told him I didn't want to do it with a work around, I wanted it to work the way it is supposed to work he asked me "Why do you need it that badly?" "UM, because I paid you to fix it so it worked right?" Since I don't have time to take it in tonight AGAIN, I will have to take it next week. I am not a happy consumer right now. And I usually sing the praises of this place, but not this time.

Phone rings

"Hi this is Neil from PC Laptops. Your computer is all done and ready to go."

Me- "Um, I thought you guys said it would be 3-4 days before you could even look at it?"

Neil "Well, I got ahead of my stuff and had time to get to yours today."

Me "I'll be right down to pick it up"

So I go and pick it up. Now PC Laptops is not just a quick jaunt from my house, but about 30 miles away. But I make the time and go get my computer, bring it home, turn it on and it is not fixed. Sure, the awful viruses, spyware and trojans that had hijacked it are gone, but so are the settings, screensavers, backgrounds, internet options, my ability to change any of those things and who knows what else.

So I pick up the phone and call them thinking that since I really am not very computer literate that perhaps I just need to click or unclick a box somewhere that I don't know where is.

"PCLaptops where we love you. This is Trevor"

Me "Hi Trevor. I just came and picked up my laptop about an hour ago, brought it home and it doesn't work." I then explain what is wrong

Trevor "Can you get on the internet?"

Me "Yes, but my tool bars are all gone, I can't get to the internet options- I get a box telling me that that is forbidden by the computer settings."

Trevor "What did we do to fix your computer?"

Me "You removed some viruses, spyware and trojans"
Trevor "Hang on a moment"

(They did have some cool hold music- theme songs from old 70's t.v. shows so it wasn't too bad)

Trevor "I hate to tell you this, but one of the trojans we removed also changes all of your settings and removes some programs. There are even things missing that I bet you don't notice for a couple of weeks. If you will bring that right back in we will drop everything and fix it for you"

Me" I live in PG and can't be there before you close. Can I bring it in in the morning?"

Trevor "See you bright and early in the morning then!"

So now I have to make the trek all the way back down to their store. That is a lot of gas and time that I really did not want to use. Part of me knows that every technition cannot possibly know what every virus, trojan and spy ware does to your computer, but couldn't he have looked it up before he called me to come down there today? Couldn't he have turned on my computer and checked if all of those things were working? I really don't have 2 hours tomorrow to take my computer and then turn around and go back and get it. Oh well C'Est La Vie

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Indeed.

Technology

I have a lot of things that I have been thinking about and that I want to blog about, but I ran into a snag yesterday. My computer got sick. It contracted some kind of stupid virus and spyware that will not allow me to do much of anything. So, today I took it in to the wonderful computer doctors at PC Laptops (where they love you). The guy that checked my laptop in told me that it might be 3-4 days before they can even look at it to see what is wrong! It used to be that if you bought your computer there (I did) that they would put you directly at the front of the line. However, I guess enough computer stores have gone out of business that they are practically the only ones around to repair computers and are swamped and don't do that any more- unless you want to pay them a zillion dollars to put you first. I didn't have a zillion extra dollars just laying around, so...

Ok, it was really just $80, but I just payed $600 in school fees for my kids free public education so they could have the privilege of simply walking through the front door, so no extra money hanging around here. So while I am waiting to get my poor laptop back, I am using the el cheapo version that my kids use. It is very old, and slow. Like a tortoise. In the winter. In the snow. You get the idea. But when zippy gets back, I will let you know all the great things I have been pondering. Unless I find some extra time to spend with mr. tortoise.

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Indeed.

Room For Two

"Sweetie, I'm home." I tried to put as much kindness into my voice as possible. I didn't want to have another argument - at least not right away.
Silence.
"Sweetheart?"
A gunshot echoed from our bedroom, followed by the sound of a bullet casing skipping along a wall.
Everything slowed down.
***
When a life is destroyed, when guilt says you played a role in its destruction, how do you face the days ahead?
Twenty-six-year-old Abel Keogh chooses to ignore the promptings he receives concerning his wife's mental illness, and now he feels he is to blame for her choices. If only he had listened . . .
At some point in our lives, each of us face devastating afflictions and must eventually cope with loss. Regardless of how it happens, the outcome is still the same - we are left isolated, alone, wondering what we could have done differently, and where we can turn for peace.
This is Abel's story in his own words. His search for peace and the miracle that follows is proof that love and hope can endure, despite the struggles and tragedies that shape each of our lives.

I wasn't sure I wanted to read a book about suicide. Four years ago I was summoned to the hospital where one of my children lay after trying to take his own life. Two years later we attended the funeral of one of his close friends after that life was ended by suicide. One year after that, this same child attempted to take his life again. And finally this past June, a student that attends the same school as my children took his life. I was not sure that I wanted to confront all those old feelings and dredge up the hurt and pain. But I did it anyway and I am glad that I did.

Mr. Keogh tells his story in such a way that you feel his frustration, his pain, his confusion. You want to turn back time with him and let him make different choices when he has the chance. You also understand that that is an impossibility and likely wouldn't change anything even if it was. I was pulled into the story and sometimes forgot that it was a real story, not just a story by Able Keogh. I stayed up until 2:30 in the morning so I could finish the book.

Mr. Keogh takes us through his trials and struggles as he comes to terms with this tragedy. His wife was seven months pregnant when she took her life, so amid his grief and anguish, he must deal with the decisions that come with an extremely pre-mature baby born to a woman that had died.

Despite the reason for the book, it is not a book about tragedy, pain, and sadness, but rather a book about learning and growing and moving forward. It is a book about redefining yourself as a person when the person you thought you were can no longer exist in this realm of life. It is about letting go, growing and stretching and pushing ourselves until we accomplish that which we only dared dream we could be.

A beautiful story, beautifully written. I definately would reccommend this book. Buy it, read it, love it.

Room for Two
Trade Paperback: 224 pages
Publisher: Cedar Fort (August 2007)
ISBN-10: 1599550628
ISBN-13: 978-1599550626

Amazon.com Sales Rank: #208,955 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Purchase book here

Website: http://www.abelkeogh.com/
Blog: http://www.abelkeogh.com/blog/

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Picture to share

Hand in Hand

Greg Olsen

I came across this picture the other day and just wanted to share it. I have looked for years for a picture of the Savior with just one ethnic child. Most pictures that have the Savior with ethnic children have at least 3 other children. You can find scads of pictures with blonde, blue eyed boys and blond blue eyed girls one on one, but pictures of the Savior and one ethnic child are very scarce. In fact, in the 10 years I have been searching for one, this is the first one I have seen. I have even spoken with artists at LDSBA and some have told me they would create one, but I have not seen a finished one- until now. Tomorrow I will be heading to Deseret Book for this picture.

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I love a parade

I love parades. My favorite part is the marching band. Well, my favorite part is when the flag goes by but then I love the marching bands. Even the most horrible song sounds amazing played by a good marching band.

I have been a band mom since the day Donovan started Marching band the summer between his eigth and ninth grade years. This is my 8th year as a band mom, and I love it. Every summer I look at the sousaphones and remember how small Donovan was and how neither he nor I could lift it into the back of the suburban. By the end of Oct. that year we had both added some muscles and he had added some heigth.

The next year we started pulling the band trailer to parades and competitions. We have pulled the trailer to almost every parade and competition since then.

Trevor joined the band and he also played sousaphone. Then Matthew joined, but he played trumpet. He chose not to be in the band this year, his senior year. He wants his senior year to be a take a break year. Last year Ethan joined the band and he also chose to play sousaphone. The band director and I figured it out once, if Jacob and Brandi also do marching band, by the time Brandi graduates I will have been a band mom for 17 straight years! He said he would retire when my kids are through. I have been band parent president twice and probably will be a couple more times. Somehow last year I became the official photographer and filmer? videographer? of the band. Photos are ok because I can get Jess to fix them in photoshop, but the video software that came with my camera doesn't allow me to put the videos on DVDs so that you can watch them on a DVD player. Any suggestions?

Here are some photos from today's parade. They got uploaded out of order, but I have too much left to do today- laundry, baths, Brandi's hair, chaperone the stake dance- to take the time to rearrange them.

Eric Rushton on Trumpet. What a showoff. Silly boy.

The band getting ready to warm up

The end of the parade route which is a whole whopping 4 blocks!

Color Guard.

I am so glad that they got rid of those stupid velvet dresses they used to wear for parades. Can you say heat stroke?

We were all so excited when the band had enough money to purchase a mace for each of our drum majors

Brandi was playing around with my camera. I hadn't posted a picture of my new haircut, so here you go. It needs a trim, though

Plumes waiting for a hat
Ethan before the parade
Ethan's sousaphone. These sousaphones were old when Donovan played on them. We finally got enough money to purchase new ones. Not a moment too soon, I would say, as the sousaphone that is not put together yet? It is held together in spots by duct tape!!

Drum line

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