Thankful day 30

Today is the 335th day of the year. There are only 31 days left in the year 2008 and I am left wondering where this year went. It seems to have just flown by. I remember my mom telling me once that the years go faster the older you get. I didn't believe her, but then why would I? I was 18 and knew everything so she couldn't possibly be right. Turns out that she was right after all. It seems that I didn't know everything back when I knew it all.

Today I am thankful that the turning of a calendar page doesn't mean that time is up. That the sands have all run out. That tomorrow is not going to come. I am thankful for all the tomorrows that will allow me to do better. To be better. To give back to those that have given to and blessed my life.

And Matt, good job on your talk in Sacrament meeting today- even if you did quote a song by Cinderella. I love you son.

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Indeed.

November 29

I can't let today get gone without saying Happy Birthday to one of my best friends, Karlene.

I won't tell you how old she is, or what year she was born or any of that stuff. I will tell you, though, that she is one of the best friends I have ever had. She knows things about me that no one else knows and she is my friend anyway. And she is willing to sit by me in Relief Society, even when she knows I am going to use all the kleenex. Oh, and she also tells me all the good stuff about me too.

There you go, balloons and a Happy Birthday to you! I hope it was a happy one and you get all your birthday wishes.

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Indeed.

The day after

I hadn't planned on shopping today. I don't like shopping the day after Thanksgiving. I don't like shopping-period. I also don't like crowds so you can see the problem. In fact at one of the stores I was at, one of the employees is a student at the highschool. He was describing the scene from earlier. There was pushing and shoving, yelling and fighting for items. I just don't enjoy that.

This morning about 9 a.m. I was presented with some money that I had no idea was going to be available. It was enough that if I hit the stores that had the deals, I could get the things that I had told the kids were no way on earth happening this year or anytime in the near future that I could see. So 3 stores and 4 hours later I was done with my shopping. Except for that one thing that I got a raincheck for and it will be in the store tomorrow morning. And there is money left over.

So to continue my thankfulness, today I am thankful for the blessings of unexpected income.

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Indeed.

Thanksgiving day

Today is the most thankful day in America. Today all over the country there will be tellings and re-enactments of the first thanksgiving, the pilgrims and the indians and the Mayflower crossing. There will be miriads of football games those watched and those played in the yard with family and friends. There will be marching bands and Underdog balloons and at the end- Santa and his reindeer will appear. Then in the evening lights will be lit and the marathon shopping/commercials will commence.

But for me, today I get to spend with my children. And I get to make Cherry Cheese Pie for Donovan and Pumpkin Pie for Trevor. I don't know when I will be able to do that on a Thanksgiving for them again. Today I am thankful that my sons are home and safe.

(On a side note, they got an identification tattoo yesterday. I am trying hard to not think about the reason for this tattoo- name, ss#, gas mask size- everything that is on their dogtags. This tattoo is put on your torso almost under your left armpit. And I hate the reason that they need one.)

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Indeed.

Sleep studies

Yesterday, Ethan and I were browsing the Christmas aisle in our local Wal-Mart when my cell phone rang. I answered it even though I didn't recognize the number. It was DME Health services. She was calling about my sleep study and wanting to know if I could do it that night. I was happy to learn that I was going to be able to do the study at home, in my own bed, my own room, with no one watching and only one small wire attached. (I was, however, wanting an excuse for some new jammies- I'll have to find another reason)

So about 5 pm, a worker dropped off a pulse oximeter at the house and told me how to use it. This is what it looked like. When I got ready for bed, I strapped it on my left arm, put the clip on my fingertip, taped the wire to my hand and went to bed and pretended to sleep like I usually do. Then this morning I filled out a simple questionairre- did I feel rested (no), did I get up in the night (yes), what time(3:00), and has anyone ever told me I snore (no).
About 20 minutes ago he came and picked up the oximeter and will take it to DME where they will download the results to their computer and then send it over to my doctor to read and decide what to do.

He will be looking to see if my oxygen saturation goes down- if it does that means that I stop breathing for brief periods of time, and he will then order a more intensive sleep study. That is when I get the new jammies and sleep with all the electrodes taped to me. Or if the saturation dips are not bad, he may do nothing, or may call for the study anyway. But today I can be thankful that I got to sleep in my bed last night.

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Indeed.

Just because

I saw this over at Josi's. I've had a bad week and so instead of a thankful post, you get this.

Use it if you want. You copy and paste and then highlight the things you have done. I think some of these are from an older list, but hey, I'll play anyway.

1. Started your own blog

2. Slept under the stars

3. Played in a band

4. Visited Hawaii

5. Watched a meteor shower

6. Given more than you can afford to charity

7. Been to Disneyland/world

8. Climbed a mountain

9. Held a praying mantis

10. Sang a solo

11. Bungee jumped

12. Visited Paris

13. Watched a lightning storm at sea

14. Taught yourself an art from scratch

15. Adopted a child

16. Had food poisoning

17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty

18. Grown your own vegetables

19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France

20. Slept on an overnight train

21. Had a pillow fight

22. Hitch hiked

23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill

24. Built a snow fort

25. Held a lamb

26. Gone skinny dipping

27. Run a Marathon

28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice

29. Seen a total eclipse

30. Watched a sunrise or sunset

31. Hit a home run

32. Been on a cruise

33. Seen Niagara Falls in person

34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors

35. Seen an Amish community

36. Taught yourself a new language

37.Had enough money to be truly satisfied

38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person

39. Gone rock climbing

40. Seen Michelangelo’s David

41. Sung karaoke

42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt

43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant

44. Visited Africa

45. Walked on a beach by moonlight

46. Been transported in an ambulance (if you count the time I rode in the ambulance with my child, who was the patient)

e47. Had your portrait painted

48. Gone deep sea fishing

49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person

50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris

51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling

52. Kissed in the rain

53. Played in the mud

54. Gone to a drive-in theater

55. Been in a movie

56. Visited the Great Wall of China

57. Started a business

58. Taken a martial arts class

59. Visited Russia

60. Served at a soup kitchen

61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies

62. Gone whale watching

63. Got flowers for no reason

64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma

65. Gone sky diving

66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp

67. Bounced a check (I wanted to skip this one, but lets be honest here)

68. Flown in a helicopter

69. Saved a favorite childhood toy

70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial

71. Eaten Caviar

72. Pieced a quilt

t73. Stood in Times Square

74. Toured the Everglades

75. Been fired from a job

76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London

77.Broken a bone

78. Been on a speeding motorcycle

79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person

80. Published a book

81. Visited the Vatican

82. Bought a brand new car

83. Walked in Jerusalem

84. Had your picture in the newspaper

85. Read the entire Bible

86. Visited the White House

87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating

88. Had chickenpox

89. Saved someone’s life

90. Sat on a jury

91. Met someone famous

92. Joined a book club

93. Lost a loved one

94. Had a baby

95. Seen the Alamo in person

96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake

97. Been involved in a law suit

98. Owned a cell phone

99. Been stung by a bee

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Indeed.

Day 24

Early outs. The school district has a program for collaboration for the teachers. They do this on Monday afternoons. In order to not have to pay the teachers for staying late, the schools are let out an hour early each Monday. Which means I get to go home an hour early on Monday.

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Indeed.

Day 23

Sundays. Sundays are good. A day of rest. Gotta love that. Even though resting for me doesn't include a nap it does mean that I don't have to feel guilty when I am not doing laundry, or mopping or dusting but instead reading or playing a game with the kids or watching a movie or visiting friends or whatever.

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Indeed.

Day 22

My nephew's wedding was yesterday.

Family can be forever, isn't that neat?

The happy couple as they leave the temple

The groom's family

Drewann, Morgan, Wynn, Andy, Leza, Loretta (my sister), Gary

Lexie, Tanner

Lexie at the reception

Tanner


Drew

(I'll post the other picture over at facebook, Drew, just like I said I would)




Dawna, and Everett


My older sister and younger brother- I belong inbetween them

My mom and dad.

Dawna and her husband, Rick

Rick and I spent the evening telling their children stories about Dawna. Stories that somehow she had failed to tell them about her. We should do that more often.

Dad, Everett, Mom, Sammy, Sharon

Dad, Mom, Everett, Tawnya, Me, Sharon, Dawna, Loretta

It has been a long time since we took a picture with all of Mom and Dad's children. I think the last one was when Tawnya and Isaac got married 9 years ago. And we still haven't down it, because Dustin lives in Austalia. I told Jess that she would have to photoshop him in the above picture. She just looked at me.


So here is a picture of Dustin. This is his wife's favorite picture of him

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Indeed.

Thankful day 21

My nephew is being married today in the Logan temple. Today I am thankful for family that will gather together in the temple to witness the creation of a new family unit and the covenants that will make it possible to exist into the eternities. Iam also thankful that I will be able to be there with them and my sister and my parents.

Love you Andy and Leza.

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Indeed.

Day 20

Last night when I got home from class, Matt asked me if I had seen the cat all day. I hadn't. No one else had either. I figured he just hadn't been around. It was warm and I had banished the cats to outside because I found a "present" and was not happy. They spend most of their time outside anyway, and they come in in the morning and get warm, then I send them back out. Once in awhile one of them slips in and spends the night on one of the kids' bed, but I nixed that when I had to shampoo the carpet. Again.



So today when I got home from work and Matt was still looking for his cat, I began to wonder if Scoop was more than missing. (stupid name, I know, but when I called him that, I didn't know he would be staying nor that he would be such a great cat). Ethan had some fundraiser orders to deliver, so I drove him around to do that. Then we drove down to the animal shelter, just in case. Good thing we did, because there he was, all alone and forlorn in a stupid cage. He looked so happy when he saw me. He wasn't happy to have to ride in the car home, but he was so happy to be home. I called Matt just before I turned the corner to our street and asked him to meet me on the front porch. Matt was also very happy when Ethan held Scoop up to look out of the passenger window.

Tonight I am thankful for a boy and his pet, reunited. Two happy souls.

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Indeed.

Day 19

Today I am thankfor the talents of others that bless and enrich my life. For the understanding and knowledge that others have that they then use to help me know and understand.

I was going to ask Dave Woolley to do a guest blog for me based on a comment he made on another blog (the nov. 15th entry). Dave says a lot of the same things I want to say, but he says them the way I want to say. They never come out quite so eloquent or, dare I say, perfect, when I say them. The reason I didn't ask him to guest blog is that he did the post I was going to ask him to do on his own blog. Go read it here.

Thanks Dave, for your insight, your knowledge, and your willingness to share and bless us with it.

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Indeed.

A visit with the doctor

I went to the doctor for a med. check. I hate those because this is what usually happens. The nurse takes my vitals and tisks her tongue at me. I don't even look at the scale anymore because it lies. Then the dr. comes in, looks at my chart and says, "I just don't know what to do with you." He asks me some questions, which I try to answer and he changes my meds and tells me to call him in a week to report how the new meds are working.

It has been six months since I saw the doctor last. He wouldn't refill my current prescription without a med check to make sure the new one was working. So I went in and did the drill. Scale. Didn't lie as much as normal, but with scales you just never know when they are trying to lull you into a false sense of security. Blood pressure. The numbers sounded good to me. Then the dr. comes in, looks at my chart and says, "I just don't know what to do with you."

Did you know that it is possible to have blood pressure that is in fact, too low? Go figure. He thinks it is the new medication, but they don't make it in a smaller dose, so I have to cut the pills in half and see how that works. Oh, and losing 12 lbs! 12. Guess I should have quit trying to lose weight years ago. Apparently that is the key- stop caring.

Then he asked about my sleep. I laughed. A lot. When I quit laughing I told him that I sleep like a baby- I wake up every 2 hours and eat. Well, not the eating part, but the waking up part is true. He wasn't happy. He was even more unhappy when I told him that this has been going on for decades and that I cannot remember ever waking up feeling rested. Now he wants to send me to a sleep doctor for a sleep study. Not the do you have sleep apnea because you snore doctor but the why don't you have quality sleep doctor.

Right. Tell me this, I don't sleep at home, in my own bed, how am I going to sleep in a strange room, strange bed with electrodes hooked up all over and knowing that someone is watching? Ya, right, that's gonna work.

But I guess in reality I am thankful for doctors and everything they can do. I have been told that 50-75 years ago people with RA didn't even live to be my age, let alone live normal lives with as few symptoms as I have. And the ankylosing was not something that was diagnosed, let alone treated. So I guess if I have to have them, I can at least be thankful that they are treatable and that treatment is available to me and seems to be working.

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Indeed.

Thankful day 17

Day 17. This is getting hard. Harder than I thought it would be to do a thankful post everyday. Mostly because I want my posts to be about something other than things. That would be easy, I could just go through my closet, or walk through my rooms full of stuff and pick random things to be thankful for. But there is so much in my life that I take for granted or just forget to say thank-you for. There is also a lot that I am thankful for but don't want to blog about because then you would know that I am flawed, imperfect, make mistakes, and need to make improvements.

But then those of you that know me personally already know that about me. That I am at times impatient, judgemental and sometimes downright unreasonable. My house is never as clean as I would like it to be. I weigh more than I should, I waste too much time on trivial pursuits and speak sharply to my children when what they want is an understanding mother. I worry to much about my own comfort levels and not enough about those that go without. And I definately do not do enough to help others.

So today what I am thankful for the most is that I don't have to have all of those things corrected, perfected, changed before the clock strikes 12 tonight. What I do have to do is to recognize them and work on changing them and do better tomorrow than I did today. I am thankful for a Father in Heaven who knows me and understands that even when I am trying, I am going to fall short and mess up. And I am thankful that He made the sacrifice of His only Begotten Son so that in the end it will be alright.

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Indeed.

Thankful day 16

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Indeed.

Thankful day 15

For visiting teachers.

Yesterday I fell and bruised my leg. I thought it was just a little bruise on the thigh and a big bruise on my ego. But the longer the day went, the more places I felt the aches and pains. Jake and Brandi had a piano recital last night (video later) and by the time it was time to be there, I was in a lot of pain. When did I get old enough for a simple spill to cause so much pain?

Brandi and Jake's piano teacher is also my visiting teacher. When she found out, she told me that she would bring me something that would help. This morning she brought me some big leaves of comfrey from her garden. Now I can make a nice poultice, put it on the bruises and feel better. Well, at least the physical bruises anyway, the ego bruises are going to have to just work themselves out.

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Indeed.

Thankful day 14

In the last two weeks I have been invited to join three different groups of women from church. One group gets together once or twice a month to just play games, another group just gets together to be together and I don't remember what the other group's reason for being. It doesn't really matter anyway. Because of the time that these groups met, I had to say no to all of them. Again, that doesn't matter. What does matter to me is the fact that these women felt that they could ask me to join them.

I have another group of women that I do get together with on a monthly basis. Not all of us are there each month, but those of us that can get together do. And we have a blast. We enjoy each others' company. Revel in each others' joys and cry for each others' sorrows.

I will admit to a Sally Field, they really like me, feeling. But I think we all have those feelings now and again. Whatever. But today, I am grateful for friends, friendships and the sisterhood that we all share. These different groups of women know some of my deepest sorrows, fears and despairs. And they can see past all that to the me that I want to be, the me that Father sent me here to become. And they are helping me become that woman.

One friendship at a time.

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Indeed.

Thankful day 13

Even though I don't play it very often any more (why don't I?) I am thankful for my piano. I love this piano. It replace a spinet that I bought when Donovan was 3 or 4. The spinet had been tuned and retuned again and again. It had a broken key that had been fixed twice and the next repair would have cost me as much as a new spinet.

But truthfully? I had always dreamed of a cherry baby grand in a parlor. But I didn't have either the money for a baby grand or a parlor. So I went shopping for a new piano that I could afford. When I was at Piano Gallery the saleswoman asked me what kind of piano I wanted. Now, I believe in asking for what you want. You may not get it, but if you don't ask you are for sure not to get it. So I said, "If money was no object I would get a cherry baby grand." And what do you know, just that week a professional pianist had traded in his one year old cherry baby grand for a brand new one. And since it was now a used piano, it was in my price range!

So while I still don't have a parlor to put it in, and it takes up half of my living room, for the last five years the kids and I have enjoyed the beautiful sounds of a cherry baby grand. It has the most beautiful sound, (except it needs tuned right now) and it is the most beautiful color and I love playing it or just listening to the kids play it. And the best thing about it? About the only time it does not have beautiful music coming out of it is when the kids are asleep or not home.


This is the only decent picture of it. Just igonore the rest of the room, it is a before redoing picture.

Just to prove that the room does look better in the after condition.

The piano is in the corner to the right, but I don't have a picture of it and that wall is ripped open right now to fix a pipe.

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Indeed.

Thankful day 12

Today I am thankful for technology. I have a paper or presentation due every week for school. I still have to go to work at both the high school and then do parties for Urban Botanic. I do not know when I would actually feed my children if it were not for technology. I can start supper, sit down at my laptop and write my paper or go online to do research and never leave my kitchen. When the paper is polished and done to my satisfaction, I can either submit it electronically or print it and take it with me to class. And my kids get a good healthy meal, Brandi can sit by me and I can help her with her math, then kiss her goodnight and tuck her in. Isn't technology great?

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Indeed.

8 things about me

Both Tristi and Ali tagged me for the same meme this past week. This one was a bit harder for me to decide what it was I wanted to tell you about me, but I think I got it done.

Eight Things I'm Looking Forward To:

1. Getting out the Christmas decorations. I love Christmas decorating. (see last year's Dec. posts) but won't do it before Thanksgiving

2. Getting my grade in class in 2 weeks

3. The changes that I am hoping the first of the year will bring

4. Getting my laundry all done. Which may never happen, because as soon as I am done, someone changes their clothes so I may be looking forward to that for a long time.

5. Seeing my parents next week when they come for my nephew's wedding

6. Painting my bathroom (Tawnya, send me the color name/formula for the color in your upstairs bath please)

7. David Woolley's next post (or book)

8. And last, but the one I am looking forward to the most- the birth of my new granddaughter in the spring!

Eight Things on My Wish List:

1. My kids actually do their chores the way I want, when I want.

2. A good night's restful sleep so I wake up feeling like I have slept

3. Not having to go to work while it is still dark outside

4. Not having to go to work, period. But rather to stay home and be the mom

5. To be in the temple with all my kids.

6. To dance on a dancefloor again.

7. To have a weekend with nothing to do so I can finish watching my DVD of Stargate SG1

8. That Matthew gets enough scholarships to pay for college

Eight TV Shows I Like to Watch:

This category was the hardest for me, because I don't watch a lot of t.v. anymore, but I will try

1. NCIS

2. Criminal Minds

3. Jeopardy- when I remember and can find it

4. The Mentalist

5. Ghost Whisperer

6. Dancing with the Stars

7. Numbers

8. Dr. Phil if I am home in time

Eight Things that Happened Yesterday:

1. It rained.

2. I let Ethan drive home (I need to invest in some Clairol).

3. Trevor fixed the leak in the bathroom and resheatrocked the hole he had to make in the living room wall in order to fix the pipe.

4. Donovan, Kristina and Hunter brought me a balloon at work that looks like this.

5. I bought material to make a quilt for the above girl

6. I sewed some rips in Donovan's camo pants

7. I worked on my paper

8. I went to bed before 11:00

I am now supposed to tag eight of you, but I need to get back to my paper so I am going to tag whomever I can think of in the next 30 seconds

Sharon, Tawnya, Loretta, Karlene, Josi, Candace

Time's up.

I am adding the end of Tristi's post to the end of this one. Because of school, I have trimmed my blog roll down and there are some blogs that I get to when I have a moment to sit and catch up. Because of that, I just learned of some sad news concerning a blog friend from Alaska.

Many of you know Kathleen, who blogs as "So Grateful to be Mormon." She went missing at the end of October and has not yet been found. If you could add her to your prayers, that would be wonderful.

8

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Indeed.

Just imagine

Conversation between Ethan and I this afternoon after school.

E: "Mom, I don't like imaginary numbers."

Me: "Oh, neither do I. I don't understand how they work. It's like, Hey- I don't know how to do this problem so let's make up a number and call it good and make the problem do what we want."

E: "Too bad it doesn't work for English as well when you don't know how to spell a word, just make up some letters and call it good."

To bad that's not how it really works in either case.

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Indeed.

Thank You day 11

Today we honor those that have assured us the ability to live in relative peace and happiness. They have given us the right to be gready and fill our homes with useless drivel. We can live beyond our means and fill our bellies with good as well as unhealthy food. We can go to work or school and speak our minds and never fear that we will be arrested or even worse, killed for it.

We do not fear our loved ones being taken from us and put in jail for having an opinion. We can do this, because someone else's father, son, brother choose to put himself in harms way to keep it thus. I say "Thank you".

I am proud to place my hand over my heart and pledge my allegience to the symbol of my country. I shed tears each and every time I sing the national anthem. I am thankful that so far, my sons have not been called upon to lay down their life for my freedom, but if they are called upon to do so, I will pray for their safety, but know that the day may come that I will see two men in dress blues at my door. I will weep for that, but still be proud and know that they did what was asked of them for my continued comfort.Let us not forget the many valiant men and women that have given us our freedom this day.

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Indeed.

Provident Book/Humdinger Toys

If this seems like a repeat, it is. The grand opening and book signings had to be pushed back a week, so I am re-announcing the opening where to get the coupon.

I am pleased to announce a new book and toy store in Pleasant Grove. It's called Provident Book/Humdinger Toys & Games, located at 661 W State in Pleasant Grove.

They are having our Grand Opening this Saturday, November 8th, from 9:00 a.m. to 9:00 p.m. There will be over 30 authors doing book signings throughout the day; a 25% off any one item coupon (go here to collect it) Free Drawings for prizes valued at over $300, plus other cool fun things.

To use the coupon, just print it out and bring it in to the store with you. (Bring your Christmas shopping list too!)

To get a sneak peak at a few of the really amazing items they'll be carrying, you can go here.

I am really excited about this store. It has been a long time since there was an independent bookstore in our area. That alone would be exciting enough, but I happen to know the owners and how long and hard they have been working on this. And they choose my friend, Karlene, to be their assistant manager. Smart guys. You know how else I know that they are smart guys? They wanted me to come work with them as well, but with me going to school that didn't work out. Maybe they can give me a summer job?

Karlene also has a list of authors that will be doing signings and the times they will be there. This Sat. is my ward's Super Saturday, but noon sounds like a good time to skip out and go to the bookstore.

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Indeed.

Thankful day 10

Star Light

Star Bright

First Star I see tonight.

I wish I may,

I wish I might,

Have the wish I wish tonight.

I was sitting at the football game the other night when the first star came out. It was beautiful. When I saw it, the first thing that popped into my mind was the star light wishing poem. I silently finished and made my wish before the next star came out, and then laughed at myself for such childish silliness. As if a star could give me what I wished for.

I substituted in an English 11 class on Friday. They were reading Huckleberry Finn. We read the chapter where Huck was learning about God and prayer and all you had to do was ask for what you wanted and God would give it to you. Huck got disgusted because no matter how hard he prayed, he didn't get what he asked for. So he quit praying.

Today I am grateful for prayer. I am grateful that it is not just wishful thinking and hoping and wishing on a star. I am grateful that I can kneel down and pour out my troubled heart and know that there is someone listening. Someone that cares. Someone that loves me.

I am thankful that I can kneel down and ask for help for those things that I do not understand or help for those things are hard to do, or just the patience to get through what ever I need to do. I am thankful that I can also just say "thank-you" for all the things that I have been given. I have so much and take most of it for granted and too often forget to say thank-you.

I am most thankful that I am able to pray the prayers of repentance and ask for forgiveness for the many things that I do or don't do on a daily basis. These are the times that I am most thankful that I know these prayers are heard and answered.

So even though I know that if I am outside when the first star comes out I will probably say a little rhyme in my head and make a wish, I will go inside, kneel down and thank my Father in Heaven that He is there and hears me.

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Indeed.

Thankful day 9

Nourishment. Do we think about it very often? Or is what we put in our bodies just that, stuff we put in our bodies?

Yesterday I borrowed a recipe from my friend Dave, who really understands the hows and whys of nourishing our bodies. I posted it here. Then the kids and I ate. And our bodies were nourished.

As I was reflecting back over my day, I realized that the soup nourished more than my body. My life has become busier than I would like and definately more stress filled than I would like. As a result, I tend to cook whatever is the fastest thing to throw together that isn't pre-made and processed to within an inch of its life. I do this as I am running to yet one more place I have to be and probably don't want to be. I also noticed that the sad and negative parts of my life seem to be taking over and smothering the good parts. But as I was headed to bed, far later than I would have liked, I realized that I felt calmer and more centered and grounded, and I thought about why.

When I stopped to take the time to cook- not throw something together- but actually cook, my soul was nourished with the act of creating. I had to stop and think. I had to breathe. I had to wait paitently for things to be ready to move on to the next step, there is no rushing cooking if you want to get it right. And I was doing something that I like to do. I hadn't realized how much I missed doing it.

Then today at church I was hoping to find some deep and profound insight that I could pass along to you. What came to my mind was this: Nourishment. I was being nourished yet again by being at my meetings, taking the time to slow down, sit down, breathe and feel the Spirit of the Lord. Nothing big and profound, but small and simple. And true.

I must learn to slow down and wait paitently for the next step. Stop praying for my trials to be over, but to learn and grow until it is over. Then and only then will I be ready for the next step (whatever that may be). And when it comes, I will realize that I hadn't realized how much I would have missed if I had passed the nourishment of trials by.

So today I am thankful for nourishment for body, for mind and for spirit. And thankful that even when I whine and complain, the Lord knows what is best for me, even when I would rather eat dessert first..

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Indeed.

It's yer birthday

14 years ago, today, I gave birth for the last time. It was the worst pregnancy ever and the delivery was an emergency to keep me from dying. My baby was 6 weeks early, 4 lbs 2 oz and healthy as a horse. Well, a sea horse anyway given his size. I, however, was not well so we spent a week in the hospital while I somewhat recovered. I also did not know what to do with such a small bundle because all my other children had been born half grown!

Here he is at 1 week. You can see by the kitchen scale I used to weigh him how small he was. I kept the bowl as a souvineer for him.

I know the bathroom is a mess in this picture, but keep in mind I had not been allowed out of bed for the past 3 months and spent most of that in the hospital trying to not have the baby. His due date was not until almost Christmas. And if you were to come over today, the bathroom looks much better since I ripped out the cabinets and flooring and redid it.

All the kids. Based on what he is wearing, I would say this was Jake's blessing day. The back of the picture says Nov. 1994, but it was probably early Dec. Doesn't it look like Jess is holding a doll? With his head in the palm of my hand, he didn't even reach to my elbow. I had to buy special diapers and clothes to fit him. Back then the stores didn't carry preemie stuff and it had to be special ordered and was very expensive. He grew so fast that I ended up with a case of diapers left over. I kept one diaper so he could see how small he was, and donated the rest to a family that had a baby in the NICU at the hospital.

Here he is two summers ago at Bridal Veil Falls.

He always has that solemn expression.




Last spring (he's the one with the flag tie)

Here he is playing football? frisbee? what was it kids?

at my sister's house this past Labor Day.

He is the most absent minded person I know. I tell him that is a sign that he will be a great scientist or inventor some day. And he says, "O.K. ... Wait. What?" I kid you not. I hear that out of his mouth more than anything.

But he is also one of the sweetest people you will ever know and I wouldn't trade him for anything.

Love you son. Happy Birthday.

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Indeed.