Never Ending

There is a hole in my basement ceiling. Last night Jacob discovered a leak. I think we found it, but we had to cut a huge hole in the ceiling. At least it isn't a broken pipe. It has only been 2 month since we finished fixing the last leak. I hate living in a 35+ year old house. I have never really been fond of this house, but 17 years ago it was what was affordable. But I will be honest, if I had the money, I would be out of here. But maybe now that the ceiling is open and no one will have to climb in the crawl space, I can get the tubing run to the refridgerator and we can hook up the water.

My dryer needs a new bearing. Or belt. Or something. I wish Trevor was home to fix it. It squeakes and squeals and is extremely loud. It sounds as if the drum is going to take off. Oh, and I noticed water under the washer.

Jessica's clutch needs replaced, or tightened or loosened or something. Her dad was going to fix it, I am not sure what he is waiting on, but it would be nice if it got done soon.

The vacumm is clogged somewhere and I can't figure it out. I have taken it apart as much as I know how and cleaned it out, but it still doesn't have the suction it should. I guess I am going to have to take it in to be serviced.

The piano needs tuned.

And both bathrooms need painted. Maybe I'll let you choose the color. Any ideas?

Maybe I'll just go get a haircut and a manicure and forget it all for a while.

---

Indeed.

The Color of Fear

We watched this documentary in class on Tuesday.






David, the white man, never did understand how bigoted and blind he was being. He believed that unless he had had an experience, then it just never happened. And I wanted to shake him. It was as if he absolutely refused to believe that someone might experience the world differently than he does. Maddening. Every time one of the men would talk about an experience or feeling they had had, David would say, "I don't believe that is the way it is." or "Not true" or "You are just blaming white people for your own lack". I do not know how these other men spent 48 hours in his company and were not any more angry than they were. I listened to him for 48 minutes and couldn't stand him.

Brandi experiences the world as a person of color. There are small things that people say and do that have made me aware of the fact that she is seen as "less than". When she was born, her father's mother said "Oh how nice of you to help that poor little black girl" Excuse me? She never even cared to find out the real reason Brandi joined our family. I don't believe she would have said that if Brandi had been white. Every chance she gets she tells me that she doesn't think less of Brandi because she is black. She just ignores the rest of my kids.

Other ways she experiences the world that I don't? I am convinced that her suspension in Dec. was racially motivated. People walk up to her and want to touch her hair. They ask if they can touch it and then do it without waiting for her answer. People express surprise that she can read 1 1/2 grade levels higher, and she can do math or that she is not particularly interested in sports unless it is soccer. Doesn't she want to play basketball? Black people play basketball, not soccer.

As a woman, I also experience the world differently. When I walk out of a store or school and it is dark, I hate to be alone because it is scary. I don't get on elevators if the only other person is a male that I do not know. In fact, I will get off if no one else is on and a male gets on.

I hate buying tires for my car. Well, that is not so true anymore, I just go to Larkin tire here in town. Jack, the owner, treats me like one of his daughter and makes sure I am taken care of. But before Jack had a business here, I was treated like an imbecile when I walked in a tire store/hardware store or what ever else is considered traditionally a male domain.

If you can find this documentary, watch it. We only watched the part on race, it has 3-4 parts and discusses other culture differences. It will get you thinking about the way you see the world and how you judge others and see them in the world.

---

Indeed.

You're kidding! Right?

I have a final tonight. Wish me luck. It really shouldn't take too much luck, it is open book/open notes. Except we have been warned that there are people that have taken the whole 2 hours and still not passed. So maybe I should take my rabbit's foot with me.

I got my first paper back in my Tuesday night class. My grade was A/B+. A for content. B+ for writing. A "B" for writing! I have never had such a low grade on a paper before! Ever! (Well, except that one time at BYU. I never got anything higher than a "B" in that class. I was happy if I got as high as a "B". When I asked the teacher why, he told me it was because he knew I could do better and he wanted me to stretch. Then I got an "A" on the final paper.)

Professor said, "There are no good writers in this classroom." This just after my team had written on our charter my strength: writing.

Oh, and have I mentioned that I have sat in this class for 8 hours now and have exactly 1/2 page of notes? Am I supposed to take notes on his tangents or just when he actually touches on something from the outline, because the outline notes are all I have. We don't have a final, so maybe it doesn't even really matter? So long as I can figure out how to become a great writer between now and Tuesday when I have to turn in the next paper and journal entry.

With a paper and a journal entry due each week, this class is going to kill me. I am going to have to actually put some thought into what I write. Maybe even stop turning in my first drafts.

I am just kidding about the thought and drafts. I really do think about my papers and have them proofed and then I rewrite, and do it all again 3-4 times. Maybe I should start sending them over to Annette or Tawnya before turning them in.

If he had used a red pen, my paper would have looked like it had cut itself. Most of the marks were on my citations. Marks for things he wanted me to leave out of the citation. Things I got marked down for not putting in in the Wed. night papers. It would be nice if the professors could agree on exactly what is APA format. You know, make it less confusing for the student. I will admit, the sentece revisions he made did make the paper a bit stronger.

I really would like to tighten up this post, but don't have time. There is a final waiting for me.

Indeed.

Marley and Me

Last Monday the kids and I went to see a movie. Matthew wanted to choose the movie and I agreed so long as he chose something that even Brandi would enjoy. He chose to see Marley and Me. Good choice/Bad choice

Good:

Cute story, cute dog, cute family, cute, cute, cute all over. I love that John Grogan chooses his role as a husband and father over the dream life that he had envisioned. I love that Jennifer Aniston's character chooses to be a stay at home mom instead of keeping her great job. I love that even when Marley is at his worst, the family keeps him and figures out how to make it work. I love that when Jenny is so sleep deprived that she thinks she will go insane and she screams and yells like a mad woman at her husband, he never, ever, not once thinks about leaving but figures out what he can do to make her life better. Even if it means giving up his dog. And they make it work for both of them.

Bad: It was rated PG. It should have been rated PG13. It wasn't very far into the movie that I looked at whichever boy child was sitting next to me and I said "this is rated what again? And we brought Brandi? Maybe we should have seen the stupid Mall Cop movie." Language was a problem for me. But even worse was the constant sexual innuendo throughout the first half of the movie. One of the funniest scenes, the one where he goes to the vet, is ruined by all of the crude, crass, locker room comments. The movie would have been so much better if the language and innuendo was left out.

Another thing, the first scene is in the future. I kept waiting for it to be tied into the rest of the movie. It never was. I hate when that happens.

Would I recommend this movie? Sure but not for young children.

My favorite line: "This wasn't part of the plan." "No, but this is so much better."

---

Indeed.

Legend of the Jewel

Former Pinkerton spy Isabelle Webb needs a vacation. The broken leg she suffered while trying to warn President Lincoln of his impending assassination has mended a little, but her grief over his death has not. She and her young charge, Sally Rhodes, have an open itinerary when they board a steamer ship to Bombay. But upon meeting Utah blacksmith James Ashby, the two women opt to join the search for his younger brother Phillip, who’s traveling abroad with the ill-reputed Thaddeus Sparks in search of a mystical treasure. Upon arrival in India, other passengers are also interested in taking up the search. But the seeming good will of some soon turns dark on the streets of Bombay. As murder and kidnapping tears the group apart, James and Isabelle race to uncover the hidden motives and harrowing connections that threaten not only Phillip’s life, but also their own. First in N.C. Allen’s new series, this tale’s cunning characters and twisting plot will wrap you tightly in the action, intrigue, and romance surrounding the Jewel of Zeus.

As if I didn't have enough to do, I joined a book club. Legend of the Jewel by N.C. Allen was the first book we read. We met together last Thursday to discuss the book. N.C. Allen came and talked to us as well about her process of writing this book and the others that she has written. It was a very delightful evening with good friends and a good time.

Eileene, Nancy (aka N.C. Allen), Tristi

N.C. Allen wrote the Faith of our Fathers series. Isabelle Webb and her young charge, Sally Rhodes, are characters from that series. But since I haven't read Faith of our Fathers yet, I didn't know this. And it was ok. You don't have to know this to enjoy the book. And I did enjoy the book. It was light and fun and a quick read.

Me, Candace, Nancy

There was one point in the book that became confused. The main male character gets shot and a few pages later he was in a very physical fight with one of the bad guys. Very. Physical. I thought that perhaps I had missed a passage of time. So I checked. Nope, it was just a few days later. So I asked Nancy about that. And there was a very good explanation. The fight scene was added after the book was done and no one caught the problem. But it is something I can overlook because it didn't really take away from the story- just made me think I was sleep reading.

Karlene, Nancy

I liked this book enough that I will be buying the next two books in the series.

---

Indeed.

23 years and counting

Donovan got to come home for a couple of days. He flew back to Ca. yesterday evening. It was a hard goodbye because there is no more leave. His wife will have their second baby in a few weeks and he will be overseas protecting our liberty from those that would take it away from us. He won't meet his daughter until she is 9-10 months old. She won't even know that she misses him. But she will.

23 years ago today I held him for the first time. I knew then that this day would come. That he would grow up, leave my home, serve in the military (yes I knew it) get married and have children. And I cried because I did not want this little one to leave me. (or else I was just hormonal- I had just given birth after all) And now that day is here and gone and here and happening. And now today, 23 years later, I am crying again. But this time I can't blame it on the post-partum hormones.

I made him a Mississippi Mud cake for his birthday. Made him blow out 23 candles. Made him hug me when he left. Tried to forget that it will be almost a year before I hug him again.

I should scan some pictures of him from when he was a wee, tiny thing, but I will end up crying again. I'll do it next year- maybe. If I remember. Instead let's do a remember when.

*Remember the Thanksgiving Sharon was coming to our house and Donovan wanted to build a snowman with her? Only one problem- no snow. He prayed for snow to build a snowman with Aunt Sharon. It started snowing the second she pulled up in our driveway on Tuesday (Wednesday?) evening and didn't stop until the second she pulled out on Sunday.

*Remember the time I was trying to get Donovan to sleep in a big boy bed and he wanted to sleep in mine instead? One night while I was helping him say his prayers he said, "May we have a good night sleeping- in Mom's bed." I laughed out loud.

*Remember his first talk in primary? I do. "Tell me how a prophet looks. Can he read my mind?...."

*Remember how he loved to tell jokes? What do you call a dog that jumps in a fire? (hot dog) What do you say when a dog falls off a cliff? (doggone)

*Remember his yellow dinosaur backpack?

*Remember his book report on To Kill a Mockingbird and the doghouse inferno?

*Remember when he drank out of the puddle while camping?

*Remember when I was at school and he and Chris Peck rode their bikes? Off of the roof. Using a ladder for a ramp. That's when I started answering the question "Mom, guess what!?" with "Do I want to know?"

*Remember when he bought Brandi a hamster. And his dog ate it. Oh, wait- that was Trevor's hamster. Never mind. I gave Brandi's hamster away.

*Remember his hikes in the foothills with Jacob?

*Remember when the sousaphone was bigger than him and Caleb had to help us put it in the Suburban?

What do you remember?

Make a wish

Can you believe that this big, tough marine didn't get all of the candles in one breath?

He claims it was a trick candle and that it relit itself.

Ok, let's go with that version

And what would a post with pictures be with out Hunter

He is playing peek-a-boo with me

Grandma sees you!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DONOVAN.

I LOVE YOU SON.

To Sleep

A flock of sheep that leisurely pass by
One after one; the sound of rain, and bees
Murmuring; the fall of rivers, winds and seas,
Smooth fields, white sheets of water, and pure sky -
I've thought of all by turns, and still I lie
Sleepless...
~William Wordsworth, "To Sleep"

The good news is this- I don't snore. The bad news? I did not have any "significant events" last night at the sleep center. What that means is that I didn't snore and I didn't stop breathing long enough to gasp for air. Therefore, I was not put on a C-PAP machine, but allowed to "sleep" aka resting with my eyes shut pretending to sleep until it is time to get up and start the day again. The print out of my EKG/EEG/whatever else EG they took, will be sent to a sleep technician to read. It will take up to two weeks for him/her to read it and report back to my doctor the results. I am hoping for positive for sleep apnea- even though that means I have to sleep looking as if I am flying an F/A-22 Raptor into battle.

The room was nice. The night tech that hooked me up was nice. We had a nice chat about our college courses as she hooked me to the myriad of wires needed to monitor how I don't sleep. It took about 45 minutes to get all of the wires attached to my head/calves/upper arms/neck/chin/face and I still have some goo in my hair. She told me it may take 2-3 washings to get it all out. I am just glad I didn't have an allergic reaction to it and break out- I did an Urban Botanic party this afternoon. That would not have gone over great- a consultant with big red splotches all over.

I fell asleep faster than I thought I would. That may have had something to do with the Zanaflex that I took, though. Then I slept as I normally do/don't however you want to look at it. I was awake by 5 and could hear the techs moving around in the hall waking other patients(?) or clients or whatever you want to call us. It was an hour before it was my turn to "wake up". It only took about 15 minutes to take all the wires off. It was a nice room. Kind of like a Motel 8 room or a very nice high end hospital except a much more comfortable bed than any hospital bed I have ever pretended to sleep on. If you can call trying to sleep with a billion wires attached comfortable.

 

Even thus last night, and two nights more I lay,
And could not win thee, Sleep, by any stealth:
So do not let me wear to-night away.
Without thee what is all the morning's wealth?
Come, blessed barrier between day and day,
Dear mother of fresh thoughts and joyous health!
~William Wordsworth, "To Sleep"

 

To post or not to post

I was going to do a great post tonight, but I just walked in the door with Matthew after his MRI and I have to leave in 1 hour to do my public sleeping thing. I still haven't packed my bag. So maybe I should do that instead of checking in with you all.

Coming soon:

More parenting tips

Book reviews

Book club photo and chat

Final grade for Human development, discussion on Cultural Diversity

And who knows what else.

---

Indeed.

Do as I say, not...

I started a new class last night. My classes are supposed to be only on Wed. evenings and I am only supposed to have one at a time. But because I enrolled 3 weeks after a session started at the campus next to my home, I have been attending at the main campus about 30 miles away. To get me caught up and on track with the group here, I had to double up classes for 2 weeks. By the beginning of March I should be able to start attending here.

I was late for class last night. The first day of class. And then there was no parking. Every lecture on tardiness I have given students over the past three years played in my head taunting me, mocking me.

I am leaving early tonight. I have a presentation. I don't feel ready for it.

But I won't be late.

---

Indeed.

Pulling hair

A couple things today:

--I took Matt to the doctor again today. That makes 3 times in 5 weeks. I don't think he has been to the doctor 3 times in the last 15 years. The doctor ordered more tests and changed his meds. I hope this works or they find something soon. Matt wanted a blessing last night but neither our home teacher nor our two neighbors answered their phones when we called. He finally asked his dad and I am trying very hard not to pass judgement on his worthiness (or not).

--A transformer blew outside our house last night. It was sort of scary when it happened- a big flash of light followed by an even bigger boom and total darkness. I will admit to jumping when it happened. That transformer blew about 14 years ago and it took crews almost 12 hours working through the night to restore power. I pulled out the flashlights and kerosene laterns. I then sent the kids to bed with extra blankets because I really did not expect to have power today. I went through my list of food and what we could eat that didn't need cooking, knowing that if it came down to it, I could light a fire in the stove downstairs to keep us warm and also to cook on. We had power restored by about 1 am. Gotta love those service employees willing to work throught the night in 10* weather to restore our power. Their lights flashing in the window half the night- not so much.

-- Because of the above power outage, I am behind on my paper on The Current State of the Profession of Counseling the Culturally Diverse. I could be done if I didn't have to have references and site them in the paper. Oh, and if I knew what I was talking about. I am getting frustrated with the slowness of the process, so I figured it would be better to tell you about it than pull out all my hair.

So now you know. Back to cultural and linguistic standards.

---

Indeed.

Draper Temple

We went to the Draper Temple open house this morning. I had never been in one of the smaller temples before. This one is beautiful. The chandeliers are gorgeous- of course. These sconces are my favorite and this picture does not do them justice. The baptismal font is also one of the prettiest I have ever seen. In the picture it looks kind of yellow, but in person it is a deep umber(?) color and the richness of the furnishings just does not come out in the pictures.

I saw my rheumatologist. He was one of the ushers. I got to be an usher at the Mt. Timpanogos temple open house. I was stationed in my favorite room- the Celestial Room. If you ever get the opportunity to be in the Mt. Timp celestial room when the sun comes up, jump at that chance, you will not regret it.

The tour for the Draper temple starts in the baptistry, then you head upstairs to the temple offices, dressing rooms, instructions rooms, then up again to the ordinance rooms and Celestial room. As I was explaining some things to Brandi, Iwas struck once again with the symbolism of the placement of rooms-

• baptistry under ground for burial/renewal/coming forth,
• the dressing rooms where we change from things of this world to prepare to stand before God.
• Then we ascend to the ordinance rooms where we learn even more of God and the blessings He wishes to bestow upon us.
• Finally the Celestial room, representative of being in the prescence of God.
• This level also holds the sealing rooms where we can be joined as families forever, if we keep the covenants we make there

As we left the temple and walked back outside, I said to Kristina that I hate coming out of the temple and being reminded of the mundane worldly tasks that await me at home- laundry, cleaning, homework, etc. I think it was the smallness of this temple that allowed me to more fully grasp the concept of ascending and descending- it is more pronounced in this space than in the bigger temples.

If you are in the area during the open house, go, you will not be sorry. It is a beautiful temple. Ethan already asked if we can go do baptisms after it is dedicated. Of course I said yes.

---

Indeed.

Mr. Sandman

I met with a sleep doctor today. After taking my history, listening to my lungs (I guess people with RA tend to have lung problems- I don't) and looking down my throat, he scheduled a split night sleep study. What that means is that I will pack my bag as if I am going to a luxury hotel, let the technition attach wires to various parts of my body-which takes about minutes- read or watch TV until I decide to go to sleep.

Then I sleep and the technition listens to me sleep-kind of like I used to with my babies. He/she will also watch the monitors with the info from the wires attached to me. Then after there has been a pattern that indicates I have sleep apnea- the technition comes in, wakes me up and fits me with a C-pap mask and turns on the machine. I go back to sleep and he /she watches and listens for the rest of the night. I wake up feeling refreshed and wonderful, go home and all is right with the world.

Dr. Hammond is 99.9% positive that the results are going to be sleep apnea. He told me this based on his look inside my mouth. He told me that I have an extremely long air way and a high back tongue. He said that it is rare for people with this physiology to not have sleep apnea and he would be surprised if I didn't have it and he would feel comfortable just prescribing the C-Pap today, but for the insurance to pay for it we have to do the overnight.

I am not happy about a C-Pap/Darth Vader mask. However he told me, let's see how did he put it? "The bigger the person, the more pressure they need to keep their airway open. These are the people that have the full face mask. Small people like you can usually get by with small amounts of pressure. You will probably be fine with a nose pad". (think oxygen after surgery) So of course I like this doctor because he described me as small.

There is always the chance that I don't have sleep apnea. If not, then we have to try and figure out why I wake up feeling as if sleep is a figment of imagination read about in fairy tales. He mentioned that it could be Narcolepsy, even though I don't fall asleep like my friend Eva (not her real name). I guess that most Narcoleps don't have sleeping episodes, but just feel tired all. the. time.

The upside? I have sleep apnea, I get on the machine, I sleep, I rest, I dream, I wake up feeling refreshed. And well. And happy. My blood pressure goes down (or up depending on the day) enough that I no longer need pills to keep it where it belongs. I lose weight because my body gets the rest it needs. My stress level goes down. I have energy and want to exercise, clean my house, write my papers, and all those other things I am always to tired to do. My arthritis doesn't hurt so much because I am rested. And I finally get rid of the biggest cause of stress in my life because I have the energy to do something about it. The current economic crisis is reversed, there is world peace, and the kids clean their rooms. At least that's what I think he said, I was yawning at the time.

And life is good. Finally.

---

Indeed.

Amazing

Watch CBS Videos Online

---

Indeed.

Teach your children

Jeri asked me to give some parenting advice that would help your children from being the children that I deal with on a daily basis. (I do want to make a note that not all the students I deal with are in trouble, just the majority of them). I thought I would do a series of posts on what I think are the important things for your children to learn to keep them off of "my list".

This is the most important thing that you can do for your children: Teach them that actions have consequences and then let them experience those natural consequences. Hold them accountable for their behavior.

When I worked at the jr. high, I had hanging on my door and on my room wall and on my desk, posters that said:

When you choose the behavior, you choose the consequences. If you don't like the consequence, choose different behavior.

This is my mantra. I say it over and over. The students at the jr. high could repeat it. At first some of them had a hard time grasping what it meant because they had never been held accountable for their behavior or they were used to talking their way out of consequenses.

I am not a perfect parent, and my children have made bad choices, but I don't run to bail them out. I believe that that is a diservice to your child and to society. Jacob called me at work the other day. He had forgotten his P.E. clothes at home and wanted me to bring them to him. This is how the conversation went.

Jake- Mom? I forgot my p.e. clothes. Can you bring them to me?

Me-Excuse me? You want me to leave work, go home get your P.E. clothes and bring them to you at school?

Jake- Ya, could you?

Me- Why did you forget your clothes?

J-I dunno. I just did.

Me-Yes, you do. Where are they?

J- in my basket in the laundry room, or maybe still in the dryer, I washed them last night.

Me- So, who's responsibility was it to make sure they were in your backpack to take to school?

J- mine

Me- So why were they not put there?

J- because I just didn't do it.

Me- What are the consequences of you not having your clothes today?

J-I won't get the points for today and I will just have to sit out all period. Please mom, this time could you bring them to me?

Me- I'm sorry son. I have work to do, you were supposed to take care of them last night and you didn't. I guess you will just have to take the consequence. I love you and try to have a good day anyway.

Jake- o.k. Love you too.

Later that night I asked him how p.e. went. He told me that when he went to coach and told him that he had forgotten his p.e. clothes, coach has a stash of extra clothes for students to borrow when this happens. Jake could borrow some and participate and get the points or he could just sit out and get no points. Jake choose to borrow and get points.

Jake learned a couple of things

• He didn't forget his P.E. clothes again (it is a new sememster and he no longer has p.e.)
• What I do is important and I can't always just drop what I am doing
• He can figure out a solution that may not be what he first thought of, but is acceptable
• He can go to his teacher for help

Now, if he had forgotten his p.e. clothes because of something I did or didn't do, I would have taken them to him. I have always told my kids- if it is my fault, then I will drop whatever I am doing and bring it to school for you, but if you just forget to take your homework/project/lunch money whatever, tough. I make allowences when they are in k-2 grade, but as I add responsibility to them, I back off on what I will "rescue" for them. It is rare for my children to ask and even more so for them to forget.

We have an attendance policy at the school. Students are allowed 4 tardies and 4 excused absences per class. After that, they are expected to attend attendance school to make them up-one hour for each absence or tardy that they are over the limit. Unexcused absences and sluffs get two hours per. I had a mother call me the other day and wanted to excuse all of her daughter's absences. All 25-30 unexcused absences. Her daughter is one that I check attendance on a class by class basis- each and every period- each and every day. If she is there and on time, it is cause for celebration because it rarely happens. Her mother calls in and excuses her when ever she is absent, no matter the reason, and the reason is usually, "I didn't feel like going to class" or "I wanted to go to Starbucks/Marci's house/the store/whatever." We have had conference after conference with mom/dad/student. Student has been sent to truancy school,truancy court, been court ordered to be at school (which seems stupid to me since it is a law anyway).

Anyway, mom called me to talk to me about her student the other day. Mom said, "I just don't know what to do with C anymore. Nothing seems to make a difference. She just always wants me to do these things for her. She always wants me to call and excuse her. I just don't know what to do." I said," Mom, you are the mother. You don't have to excuse her. You could just stop doing it and let her take the consequence." Mom said, "Oh, but I would feel so guilty if I did that." I wanted to throw the phone.

Parents- grow a backbone and stop letting your children set the rules. Teach them and let them take the consequences now when they are relativley minor consequences. This girl is not going to graduate because guess what? She is almost 1 1/2 years credits short because she has not been coming to school! How is she going to get a job? Keep one once she gets one? Pay for her housing/food/clothes/car? Or is mom going to do it forever?

Teach your children to take responsibility for their actions. When I ask them "why are you tardy/throwing snowballs/pushing/not turning in your homework/etc" tell me why- don't say "I dunno" because my response is going to be "yes you do. Why" and I will press you until you give me an answer. I would rather you tell me the truth to start with. I was walking my one and only true love to class and we were making out at the door and didn't hear the bell, is a much better answer than I dunno. I will probably smile if not outright laugh, then we will have a talk about time management and how to walk her to class, get the kiss and then get to class on time. I will also let them know that I will be watching them to make sure it happens.

That talk will go something like this

Me: What message do you think you are sending your teacher when you come into class tardy?

Student: I dunno. (I just look them in the eye while they get a bit uncomfortable) Maybe that I don't care about class.

Me: perhaps. What if you had gone to school for 4+ years, stayed late to make lesson plans and then someone walked in late, made a ruckus getting to their seat and had the rest of the students looking at them instead of you. How would you feel.

Student: I think I might be kind of mad.

Me: perhaps. Do you think that maybe your behavior could be saying to the teacher that you think you are more important than them, the rest of the students or anything the teacher has planned?

Student: I don't think that

Me: "No, but can you see how your actions might say that?" I can always tell when a student "gets it" right about here or if they really don't care and this discussion is pointless. The ones that get it stop having a problem, the others continue to be a problem in this area and others as well.

Usually here is where I tell them to get to class, they do and there is no longer a problem- unless of course they are one of the students that think they can tell me to get a life and get out of theirs/get out of their face/stop picking on me/or any number of other insolent and rude comments. Those students find themselves having a discussion with their principal about insubordination and taking a leave of absence for a day. See- behaviors have consequences and you will be held accountable for you behavior.

I do want to say that I do believe in mercy and compassion as well. We have a chronic offender that is also on my period by period list. Today after lunch she was just sitting on a bench outside of the student center. I went and sat down beside her bracing for the battle that I knew would be coming. Sherry (not really her name) why are you not in class? She looked up and tears were spilling down her face. Not the discussion I expected to have, instead of the lecture about grades and attendance blah, blah, blah, she got compassion and help for her social problem, then she dried her eyes and went to class. Unlike the student earlier in the day that was having the same kind of problem, but he verbally attacked me, was beligerent and then accused me of picking on him because of the color of his skin and the LA hat he was wearing. He got no compassion and was escorted out of the student center.

I'll say it again

Once you have chosen the behavior, you have chosen the consequence. If you don't like the consequence, choose different behavior.

---

Indeed.

Coming

Coming later today- Choices and accountability

Remember:

Once you choose the behavior, you have choosen the consequences. If you don't like the consequences, choose different behavior.

---

Indeed.

Delurking day '09

Today is Delurking Day. That means that if you are reading this you need to leave a comment.

Now I am off to compile an outline for a paper and oral presentation on my Developmental Stage Population Questionnaire and Interview Project. (thanks to all of you that helped me with this by asking your kids the questions)

---

Indeed.

Welcome to my world

---

Indeed.

What I need

I just got back from an Urban Botanic training meeting. I am now feeling a lot of things:

Excited, tired, pumped and ready for a great business year in 2009, overwhelmed, ready to be a national director, struggling, powerful... and the list goes on like that. But what I feel the most is that I need to reprioritize my time so that I can fit it all in. Because really and truly, I do want to get my masters. I even like writing the endless papers. I do like working with the students at the school, I like blogging, e-mail, visiting with friends (yes, Karlene once a week- let's fit it in), blogging babes luncheons/dinners, book group, doing Urban Botanc parties, doing newsletters for my team. I do like a clean house, home cooked meals, making jewlery, watching a couple t.v. shows, movies, reading... What I am having a problem with is fitting it all in. Maybe I should decide what to let go for now, until the masters is done.

That or get a wife.

She can do all the mundane things and run my errands while I do the fun stuff and I get to enjoy the fruits of her labors. McKenna says I should hire one and call her a housekeeper, but wife implies that I don't have to pay her very much but she does most of the work. What do you think?

---

Indeed.

Can we talk?

Some days at work are great and I love it. Some days I just want to go home. Some days I feel like I have made a difference for some students or that the student finally "gets it". And some days one of those students does something so studpid that I am left standing, dumbfounded by their actions. Most days are a conglomeration of all of those things. What I hate the most is when a student does one of those stupid things and the only suprise I feel is that they didn't do it sooner.

Today was one of those days. I sometimes just want to tell someone, but can't talk to the kids because they go to the same school and there is that whole privacy issue thing. (besides, I really wouldn't appreciate it if the other staff went home and talked to their kids about mine). Since the kids that read my blog don't go to that school, perhaps it would be ok if I told you about my day today.

* Why just because we had a two week break do the students think that all of the rules no longer apply? Why do they think that the one minute warning bell is just annoying background noise. And why do they think they can ignore me when I tell them to get to class 5-10 minutes after the tardy bell has rung?

*Why do students think that when they smart off and tell me I need to learn to get a life and get out of theirs that they are going to be the exception and not get suspended? Especially when they have been told that that particular behavior will get them a suspension? And they have been suspended for it before? And then turn around the day back from suspension and do it to a teacher and then act surprised when they get suspended- again?

*When I ask this question, after class has started, "Students, where are you supposed to be right now?", why do students think that, "I'm headed to class." is the correct answer? No, the correct answer would be, "In class" or "In Mrs. Smith's class." My usual response is, "That is not the answer to the question I asked." Which makes some students angry and beligerent, others just look at me bewildered until they figure out that I really wanted an answer, just not "the right answer to get me out of trouble" And again, why just because we had a break do I have the same students from the first of the year acting like they didn't realize that they were supposed to be in a classroom before the tardy bell rings.

*When you come into school late with a steaming cup of cocoa/coffee/whatever from Starbucks and Starbucks is 10 miles from the school and you tell me the reason you are late is because you overslept/you had to scrape your car/the carpool was late/the roads were bad/or any thing else along those lines, don't expect me to be sympathetic. If you had time to make it to Starbucks, you had time to get to school before the bell rang. Go to bed earlier, get up earlier, and stop whining. I didn't believe you yesterday, or last week, or even the last 20 times, so I am not going to believe you today either. In fact, I probably already have your tardy slip made out with all the information except the time you got here.

*Sitting at the bottom of the stairs in the alcove that leads to the backstage of the auditorium with a girl on your lap and your tongue doing a tonsillectemy on her does not constitute "just talking". Last time I checked I did not have the word 'stupid' written on my forehead. And I have kids- I know what "just talking" looks like.

*I have a list of students that I am working with. I also have a list of students whose attendance and grades I check on either a weekly, daily or period by period basis. One student that I have on my period by period list did one of those stupid things today. He falls into the I know longer know how to help you if you don't step up and help yourself a bit category. He is respectful and will tell you the truth when he has done something wrong- mostly. He is not introuble a lot, attendance is good, he just refuses to do the work in his classes. He goes to class and sits and daydreams.

He has been diagnosed with some health issues and takes medication for them (ADHD for one and I can't remember what else) but that is not too big of a problem. Until today. Before school started, he brought some marijuana (didn't know about this issue before- but I am not surprised by it) and traded it to another student for some Ambien- 6 of them. And he took the Ambien. 6 of them. Time release pills. They all released at the same time soon after first period started.

6 Ambien are enough for an overdose, 1 is the adult dosage, but combine them with his other meds... Ambien is a hypnotic drug so he was hallucinating, couldn't walk unassisted and told us all kinds of things that he will never remember telling us- some he will not be happy he told us.

The ambulance came, mother came and he was taken by mom to the hospital. I would bet that he is one tired sick boy this evening.

On the up side, I had a positive comment from one of the assistant principals. She said that when she asked a student where he had been hiding to do his smoking, he said "Its gotten hard, I have to find somewhere that that red headed lady can't find me and I have to keep moving. She knows all the hiding places." That's a good thing, right?

So, how was your day?

---

Indeed.

I was thirsty, ok?

Last night I was talking to Jess. I thought she was in the bathroom putting on her makeup to get ready to go to class. She wasn't answering me, but I could hear the water running, so I went in there to see why she was ignoring me. This is what I saw.

I asked who turned on the water and let the cat on the cupboard because that is not allowed.

No one turned on the water for her. My guess is this

Her water and food dish is in the garage. It was 9* yesterday. Jacob had to break the ice on her water dish more than once. Her water was frozen at this time

She was thirsty, so I think she jumped up there and turned the water on and got a drink.

Smart cat.

Here are few more pictures that I took of her before I made her get down and I put her out with fresh water.

Here she is saying, "What? I was thirsty, ok?"

---

Indeed.

Ice is best served in a glass

I have always said that snow is fun and pretty until Dec. 26. After that it is just cold and ugly. Today confirmed that.

1. It was 9*F when I left the house this morning. No one should have to go outside when it is that cold. The bright side? I don't have outside duty this week. Nope, that is the assistant princial.

2. It started snowing about noon. I guess that would mean that it warmed up a teeny bit, but the snow covered up all of the icy patches on the sidewalks in front of the school which led to..

3. I fell and hurt my knee, foot, hip and ego. It wasn't a very big fall, just the kind where you slip, loose your balance and go down on one knee. But I twisted my ankle and hurt the inside of my foot and now that I have been home a bit and thawed out my back hurts and so do my ribs and one of my wrists. Anybody feel sorry for my yet?

4. I let Ethan drive home in the snow. He did ok, except the Durango was in 4W and he had a bit of a problem turning. But he did great when he hit that patch of ice.

5. And just because I want a #5- today is his birthday

---

Indeed.

New Year's day 2009

Most of my pictures from this day are blurry. Probably a good thing since most of them have crying in them

arriving at the airport

Checking in and getting boarding pass

flight 4721
sorry it is on time

waiting

Just before they said goodbye

With no warning they gave me a hug and left

I had no chance to say "be good, read your scriptures, wear clean underwear",

or whatever else a mom is supposed to say when sending her

sons off to war."

Then Kristina and I stood there and cried

On the escalator. He doesn't have a clue how long it will be before he sees Daddy again

Watching the airplanes out the window

Leaving without our stripling warriors

And no, I am not crying as I write this- I just have a small leak in my eyes.

Love you boys. Be safe. Come home.

---

Indeed.

On scraping and mending

I was going through some things that I wrote a couple of years ago and came across this. I thought that it would be a great post at this time of year, so I made a few changes and here it is.

I have been refinishing an old rocking chair that at one time belonged to my children's great grandmother. Grandma used this wooden chair as an outside rocker when she wanted to sit on her porch. I have no idea how many years this chair sat on her porch, but it was there for at least 23 years that I know of before we inherited it.

The chair was white and the paint was beginning to peel, so I decided it could use a good makeover and go into my newly redecorated living room. I took it out to the garage, spread a tarp on the ground and sprayed the chair with paint remover. I then proceeded to scrape the old white paint from the rocker, hoping to reveal a chair ready to be made beautiful again. I also needed to take the leather seat off and replace that because it had been painted white along with the chair. When I got the majority of the paint scraped, I proceeded to lift the leather off. Imagine my surprise when I realized that the seat was not made of leather, but several layers of heavy roofing paper painted white!! Not only that, but the wood in the chair was not pretty and waiting to be restored. No, it's many years outside made it full of holes and pitts and it was even starting to rot in places.

This chair was going to take more work than I had planned on and even then, I didn't know if I could make it look pretty again.I took as much paint off as I could and then I sanded off even more. I then filled what holes I could with wood filler/patcher and sanded some more. I took it out to the lawn and washed it and left it in the sun to dry. I tightened screws and hammered nails back in place. I sanded some more and found places that the paint had not been removed, so I removed what I could.

There came a point that I could not smooth out all of the pock marks and pits. To do so would result in me sanding away wood and the integrity of the chair would be compromised, so I had to content myself with what I had done. I then painted the chair the lovely red I had chosen for it. It looks nice, if you view it from across the room, however on close inspection you will see that there are still places where it is pitted and pockmarked and weathered wood painted to look nice.

Sometimes our lives are like this. We look good on the outside, but the foundation and prepartation are not what they could or should be.

When you get your new year/new start, you are excited and thrilled to receive it. You tell a few friends and family members about your new venture and then you sit back and wait for the results to come in. But they don't, and you get discouraged and you realize that this is going to be a bit more work than you planned on. How your "finished" product turns out is up to what you do now.

Do you throw in the towel and give up or do you do everything you can to make it work? There will probably come a time that you have done all that you can and you will not be able to smooth out all of the pock marks and pits. This is where the Lord steps in to tighten the screws and nails so to speak. He can sand and smooth without compromising the integrity of our soul. In fact, He can use more than wood filler to mend our lives.

And when He is done, you look up and your life has turned into what you wanted it to be, pretty and beautiful and productive- not just from across the room, but up close as well.

---

Indeed.