Friday, April 3, 2009

Birthday parties and Men- a two part post

We had the Relief Society birthday party on Tuesday. In preparation for the party, the RS presidency gave each sister a list with all of the sister's names on it. We were supposed to write a few kind words about each sister and turn our paper back in. Then someone on the Enrichment committee took the papers and typed up one paper for each sister with all of her kind words on it. We would get our papers at the party.

I didn't go to the party. I had a project due for class and a huge headache. I went to bed instead. My lovely visiting teacher just brought me my envelope with my list in it. I was surprised by some of the things- Beautiful hair? Ok. Some made me cry because they touched my heart. Apparently I am a good mom. In light of stuff going on with my kids I really needed to hear that. And there was one thing that made me laugh right out loud and I wondered who in the heck thinks and wrote that about me? I want it to be true, but in reality I fear that it is not. Maybe that person can see the truth in spite of reality. That or they have a great sense of humor.


Men. Noelle posted something her sister said about men; All of the male gender are dorks.

That is not all she said, but in the comment section I mostly agreed with her. I know I say something to this effect frequently. But then I start saying something like, "Except for my dad. And my brothers. Oh, and my sons. And my home teacher. My grandfathers, my neighbor, my bosses. The more I find men that don't fit the more I realize I don't really think that all men are dorks. Or jerks or whatever. And it is unfair for me to judge all men on the one really big horrible experience.

David said in reply to her:

We're not jerks. We like being the way we are, which makes being a jerk not nearly as jerky as if we were, say, arrogant about our jerkiness, or even domestically violent about the whole thing.

I think I would have to agree with him. But I would add that sometimes two men can act the same, do the same thing and one of them is a loveable, cute dork and the other is just a jerk. It is all in the attitude.

One of Ethan's friends came to me with a question one day. He said, "All the girls like Ethan and he and Matthew always have friends that are girls. Why don't they like me the same way? Why can't I get a girl?"

This is what I told him:

There are two men on a business trip. They both pass a gift shop and see a sculpture that would make their wife so happy to have in her living room. It costs $2,000. Neither man has $2,000 to spend. Man 1 says to himself- "I really wish I had extra money. I would love to give that to my wife. I would love to see the smile on her face when I gave it to her."

Man 2 says to himself: "I know that my wife would love that. I hate the way she is always spending money and cluttering up our home with her "art". I am so glad that I don't have the money and that she is not here to see it or I would have to hear how much she admires that thing. There is no way on earth I would ever spend that kind of money on her."

Neither wife gets the sculpture. In fact, neither wife ever knows about the sculpture. But which type of man do you think the girls prefer?

And some men get it and some don't. Some are jerks, but the majority aren't.

Maybe Noelle's other sister is right and she just needs to look in a different place for men that aren't jerky dorks.


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