Rambling thoughts

Sometimes it is just hard to come up with a title, you know? Like today, nothing really lends itself to the title except maybe "randomness" or some variation but I get tired of using that.

Spiders like my purse for some reason. Daddy long legs in particular.  Last week at the parade they were all over us.  We must have sat where they had a nest or something.  We were brushing them off of us the entire time we were there.  After the parade, 3 of them came crawling out of my purse.  Creepy.

Then today at Brandi's soccer scrimmage I looked down and one was crawling into my purse.  It ran and hid before I could brush it out.  As we were leaving it crawled out and onto my back.  Think Indiana Jones spiders.  That is how I felt anyway.  Not much in the way of bugs makes me want to squeal like a girl, but huge, leggy spiders? I'm tempted.  Snakes? I would have been squealing for sure so I guess I am glad it was "just" a spider.

I have been having nightmares.  I have had them off and on since I was eight.  And they are scary, can't breath, wake up in a sweaty panic, gasping for air, nightmares.  I know what causes them, and I am powerless to stop them because, without going into full and personal details, they are related to how hard I am fighting to preserve my family and behaviors of other family members.  The harder I fight for my family the worse the nightmares.  It is as if the very powers of darkness are trying to stop me.  Some nights I can feel them coming before I ever go to bed, and don't tell me it is the power of suggestion because I know better. And those nights I sleep with a light on.  Anyway, the last couple of weeks they have been getting worse with last night being the worst in a while. I am tired because I have been without proper sleep for so long.

On an unrelated note, I think, when I got up this morning the middle back of my nightgown was soaked with blood.  I didn't notice it at first because I was in a hurry to get ready for an early morning soccer scrimmage and getting Brandi there in time.  I noticed it when I walked back into my room to get something before we left and saw the blood on my nightgown laying on the foot of my bed.  I went into the bathroom and tried looking at my back, thinking that perhaps I had popped a blister from my sunburn or something, but nothing, nada, zippo. No blisters- popped or otherwise- no marks, bites or scrapes where the blood would have come from.  Brandi said she saw a small pinprick mark, but nothing big enough to warrant that much blood.  It was a bit bigger than a quarter in size. Only my undergarments and my nightgown had it on them, no dried blood on my back or the sheets.  True story.  Maybe if you get hurt in a dream you bleed in real life?

I saw these at the store this morning and am still laughing.

They come in a boy version or a girl version.  You just slip the little alarm in the diaper and when it gets wet you rush your child to the bathroom.  It is supposed to make potty training easier.

My first thought was that for millenia parents have been doing just fine with out a beeper and have we really gotten so lazy/disconnected from our children that we need an alarm to alert us to their patterns and routine?

My second thought, the one I voiced outloud was, "Great, that's all we need as parents- to be at the store and have our children's pants start beeping!"

They were on sale for only $29.99.  I really don't think I would be purchasing this if I still had small ones around. And how is a kid supposed to learn to listen to his/her body if they are waiting for an alarm to tell them when it is time to go to the bathroom. Especially since the alarm doesn't sound until it is wet.  By then isn't it too late?

It's hot.  It is hot by the time I get up between five and six in the morning and the heat is just sucking all desire to do anything right out of me.  I did get my sewing room mostly cleaned up the other day.  I still need to muck out the closet and rearrange the sewing table, but it is better than it has been for the last two years.  I still have the shed and garage and kitchen to do, but I have no gumption to do them.  Between the heat and the yucky, smelly, smoky air I haven't done much outside this summer.  I was going to go hiking, but haven't even done that.  I have done some yoga though and that feels good.

My hometeacher is going to bring his small tiller by next weekend and we are going to pull all the plants in my fairy garden out, till it up and replant.  My pond has a hole in the liner that is unfixable so I need to either take it out and put a new liner in or take it out and fill in the hole and have no pond at all.  I am thinking I may take it out and do this instead because I have almost everything needed and it will take less upkeep and maintainance.  And if I ever move I can take it with me.  Then I can take all the flagstone I have around the pond right now and use it to fill in around the plants when I put them back in making stepping stones (and weed barriers!)

Off to do  more laundry, the real song that never ends.

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Indeed

A quick List

Have to be at work early this morning so here is just a quick list of my comings and goings.

*I have about 4 book reviews coming in the next week or so. One of them will involve a give away of Josi Kilpack's newest release, Key Lime Pie. The give away post will involve cooking, so start thinking of your favorite location recipe

*Yesterday my third child, Trevor, turned 21!  And as my dad said, it is weird to say welcome to adulthood to someone that has worn a Marine uniform and spent a year in a war combat zone.

*The person at work that was spreading untrue gossip at me has already started again this year- and it has only been 5 days of school. Honestly, does she really have nothing better to do than critique how I do my job? Because if that is true, she needs to find a new job because I have not had a chance to sit down once this week and some days there was no time to eat lunch.

*Jacob got bitten by a spider last night as he was getting in bed. We seem to have more spiders in the basement this year. Does that mean a long cold winter? I hope not. But I do know that I am going to have to spray for spiders. Unless someone can tell me a better way to keep them outside.

*I really need to get on the Hunger Games reading wagon. Maybe in October

*Only 5 more weeks of course work before I start my internship. Graduation in May! and internship is shaping up to be busy but great. In fact the counselors have already given me a lot to do so I am grateful. (I can do 100 of my 600 hours before internship actually starts)

* I miss hiking in the mornings. I haven't been able to do much more than yoga this past week but I am hoping that I can get a set schedule by next week so I can start walking/hiking again. Maybe Tuesday/Thursday early evenings and some Saturdays.  maybe. I really don't want to go straight treadmill until it snows.

*Soccer season officially started last Saturday. That is one reason I haven't made it walking- Practice and games. But it is shaping up to be a good season- if the girls can stop horsing around and get down to business.

*Gotta run or I will have to go to work with no makeup.

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Indeed.

Random stuff

Brandi and I had appointments at Evans Hairstyling College this morning. Brandi for braids, me for a cut and style. I have gone to Evans off and on for almost 25 years now. I used to make my appointment for 30 minutes to close so that Mr. Evans would cut my hair while the student watched. And I always ask for an advanced student. I forgot to do that for today's appointments. We got beginner students that have just barely finished class work and this is their first couple of weeks on the floor with real people.

I showed my stylist a couple of pictures of what I wanted done. I could tell by the look on her face that she had no clue. She got close, though. But I am glad that they have an instructor come check before we leave. The instructor showed her how to razor my hair to take some of the bulk out. I have A LOT of hair and if you don't thin it, it won't do the cute style but just lay in a heavy, droopy mess- as it was doing until the instructor fixed it. But even she didn't get the bangs right. Oh well, in about 6-8 weeks it will need shaped up and I will remember to ask for an advanced student.

Brandi's braids are not what I asked for either. I wanted a bunch of tiny braids all over her head. What she got was some thicker braids all over her head. Most of the braids should actually be 3-4 braids. And they used no elastics- at the top or at the ends. And the ends were all frizzy. I had to ask them to put the cream on that stops that. They should have been using it on each and every braid. And then when they were done, they should have gone back and trimmed all the pieces of hair that were sticking out of the braid. But they didn't. I put elastics in the ends when we got home and I will trim the braids tomorrow after we wash them. I really can't fault them, though. They are beginning students, and around here when braiding is taught, it is taught on white women and about white women's hair. But black hair is just different. I should suggest that they have a guest black woman come and teach about braids and black hair. (and next time, ask for an advanced student)

Soccer. Remember the e-mail I sent the coach asking about practice times? I got this reply:

We also want the girls to learn how to play soccer and to have fun. I will pass your comments on to Bryan and Chris about additional practices. I haven't seen a schedule of practices, so I'll see if I can email one out to everyone.

Please remember that the coaches are volunteers. Bryan and Chris are the coaches because the PG Rec called and asked them to do it. They are doing their best. If you would like to help them coach, I'm sure they would appreciate the extra help.

At the first practice, they decided to have a 30 minute practice prior to each game due to the often twice a week game schedule. It will also keep the skills fresh in their minds for the game. If that is not enought for Brandy, encourage her to practice kicking, running, and dribbling the soccer ball at home.

Well, I require at least 20 minutes a day of kicking, running and dribbling as well as juggling, but I don't see how that is going to help her learn to play as a team. I sent back an e-mail saying that even though I don't know anything about soccer, I would be willing to rotate with other parents in supervising at least one 1 hour practice/week.

When I talked to the rec center, I was told that they would talk to the coach and see what they could do, but that he really didn't want to coach, but the other coach had to drop out so they begged this one to help out. Maybe I should go get that Coaching Soccer for Dummies book after all.
There is a game today at noon, so we will see how that goes. (I got the e-mail reminder at midnight)

I am doing a Power Point presentation on Wed. night about paranoid schizophrenia. My team is using clips from A Beautiful Mind to help us. We have 30 minutes. In putting together my part, I had 35 minutes of clips I wanted to use. I finally got it cut down to 6:32 minutes about 12:30 this morning. Now I just need to write a diagnosis and treatment plan on someone else and get it turned in. I guess I should find someone to interview, huh?

Sewing room is 1/2 way mucked out so all my sewing/craft stuff should be able to go back in there by Tuesday evening and then I can start on the food storage room. I better hurry if I want it done by the end of summer, because I got my letter from the school today saying first day of work is the 18th and band camp for the boys is all next week, so no help from them)

Next week is LDSBA, my favorite event of the year. I get to go check out all the new releases from publishers. Any publisher/author you want me to check in particular?

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Indeed.

Stressed

They say that stressed spelled backwards is desserts, but there is nothing quick in this house to use as stress food. I guess that is a good thing, because even though the scale hasn't changed numbers, (I think it does that on purpose) my clothes all fit differently and I took another bag of them to DI.

I did make cookies today. No sugar, I used agave instead. Did you know that agave is also what is used to make tequila? Just thought I'd through that interesting tidbit in for the fun of it. I wanted chocolate chip cookies, but the no sugar thing, remember? So I had a bag of carob chips in the pantry. And wheat flour. The cookies didn't spread the way chocolate chip cookies do and the recipe said they would. Hmmm. Again, I feel like I am learning to cook all over again. The cookies taste ok, but if you are expecting a chocolate chip cookie, you are going to be disappointed. It wasn't what I was aiming for, but I am too hot and tired to do anything else. So I had a glass of lemon water.

In the last week I have found my desk top again. Now if I can just keep the kids from piling it full again, that will be great. Somehow the kids managed to open a box full of filed papers and scattered them all over the office floor- and then just shoved them under the desk hoping I wouldn't noticed. Ha! I noticed. But I did do a bunch of shredding of old papers I don't need anymore so that cleared up a lot of space.

And I rearranged the family room. But the stupid converter box we bought for the t.v. doesn't work so I can't watch anything down there. And the stupid t.v. that is in my bedroom, (that came from I don't know where- ask the kids' dad, it was his) has a code on it that blocks all tv14 ratings and no one knows the code so I can't watch NCIS or The Mentalist or even Dr. Phil!

I even watched the first 2 disks of Anne of Green Gables. Both sides of both disks.

Dishes done, laundry caught up, office cleaned, garden weeded, furniture rearranged, took kids to library... All in an effort to not do my homework. Really.

My learning team has to do a mock intake interview with someone that has a mood disorder. We choose bipolar I. Guess who was voluntold that they are the patient? I would much rather be the therapist this time. Much easier.

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Indeed.

Jumbled post

*I dreamed I was coaching Brandi's soccer team. That was weird.

*I started a new exercise program today. I used to dance. Every. single. day. This morning I felt like a 5th grade boy in ballet class. And I was glad that there was no one to see me look so stupid.

*My ankle on my right leg is hurting now. I tore all the ligaments and tendons to shreds when I broke my foot a few years ago. I don't know how to help them be strong again. Any new workout is painful for a few weeks.

*I can't take pain killers anymore. They mess with my kidney's creatin levels and my rheumatologist makes me have my blood drawn over and over. But that is better than the alternative.

*The boys are gone at scout camp. They left Saturday and will be home late, late Wednesday.

*My house is quiet. And clean. No dishes in the sink. No laundry piled. No dirt on the floor. I even managed to get all of the cupboards scrubbed off, floor mopped, dusting and vacumming done and there is nothing piled on my table, or in my front entry, or on the table behind the couch. And there are no random dishes in the family room or the office. I think there is a corelation between this and the above fact.

*The girls and I are going to Los Hermanos for lunch.

*When I come home I am rearranging the office.

*Urban Botanic's financial backer pulled funding so we are having to close. If you were thinking you might want to have a party, or get a refill or something new do it before July 31. I will have stuff after that, but I can't guarentee that I will have what you need in stock.

I am reading Home by Marilynne Robinson and it is slow going. It is a good book, but she mostly tells you the story and there are no chapter breaks, so I find a place and stop. But it is still a slow read for some reason. I have read 2-3 other books since I started this one. I checked it out of the library and had to renew it, so if you want to read it do it when you have 1-2 days to do nothing but read. Amazon has it as released this coming Sept., but it is the paperback version.

*I watched a couple of movies this weekend- uninterrupted by Mom, Mom, Mom. I watched:

-Congo- not worth my time sorry I wasted it,

-Journey to the Center of the Earth with Brenden Fraiser and enjoyed it

-City of Ember another good movie. It did remind of The Giver in spots, though.

*I am looking for a good place to purchase unfinished wood bangle bracelets. No one in this county has any so I am going to have to purchase them online. I just wish I could find a good bulk price.

*I need to can these cherries before they go bad. Better get on that as soon as I get back.

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Indeed.

In other news

Am I the only one tired of turning on the t.v., radio, or opening the newspaper to nothing but doom and gloom? The economy is so bad we are all going to be living on the streets unless we can afford an old refridgerator box to live in. Mr. Obama walks on water. Or not, depending on who is being interviewed. We all need to run around in a panic because someone forgot to get their pig immunized.

Whatever happened to good news?

Last Saturday and awards banquet was held for LDS books released in 2008. The book I nominated did not win, but I was happy about the winners that I had read because I loved them all. Here is a picture of the winners.

You can go here to read more about this award and the books, their authors and how to nominate books for next year's awards. And even though it is not out yet, this will be my pick for best historical fiction. This year's winner in that category was my top pick when my first choice was not a finalist. She is the only author that I have read that has come close to evoking the same emotional experience when reading as David does. Deep, gut wrenching, soul touching experiences that engulf my entire being as I read. If I could choose only 1 author's works to have in my house, they would be David's works. If I could pick 2, H.B. Moore's would be my second pick to go along with them.

Our stake president has asked every home in our stake boundaries to have a garden this summer. I need to get my garden area tilled and planted. I hate my garden area and want to move it. I have been toying with the idea of tilling up most of the back yard and turning it into garden space, but mine is not the only opinion on the matter and the other opinion is saying no. Don't ask, it gets really complicated really fast. Since I don't plan on being in this house much longer and he can have it and all it's flaws, I am not going to argue. What I am doing is planting every space I can.

The other day Brandi, Ethan, Jacob and I pulled weeds. And pulled weeds. And pulled weeds. And I think I pulled something in my back, I don't think backs are supposed to hurt like this even with Ankylosing.

Last year I cleared an area in the front yard for a fairy garden. I took out the grass, fixed up the pond, Matt built me a waterfall for the pond and I made and area for the swing. Brandi and I planned what plants we wanted in there for the fairies to use for their homes and dresses and playground and what would invite them to live there. We made a path from the sidewalk to the porch and spent the winter dreaming of this summer and sitting in the swing on warm nights enjoying the flowers.

This spring about all that came up were weeds. Note to self: if you are going to use weed barrier cloth, buy the expensive heavy duty stuff, not the wimpy grey flannel stuff.

So after all the weed pulling, we planted. Again. This time we decided that we would add something besides flowers. We put flowers in, but I went to my favorite nursery and got some rhubarb and a currant bush to add. I was going to add a couple of boisenberries but they didn't have any. I'll have to order them from my other favorite nursery. (After I got home I realized that I meant to ask Noelle about crab apple trees but we were so busy talking about other stuff that it slipped my mind.) Brandi and I decided that we are going to put some melons in the fairy garden, some more berries and maybe we will even put a couple pea or bean plants in there as well. Then we can sit on the swing and snack at the same time. Brandi also wants me to get a couple of those topsy turvy things for tomatoes. Any thoughts on that? If we do that, then the small backyard space can be used for other veggies. And instead of petunias in the porch pots, I think we will fill them with strawberries.

While doing some research on the no sugar eating I ran across this


Dr. Stan Gardner's website

And speaking of no sugar, I made some caramels the other night. I used butter, Agave nectar and coconut cream. I don't particularly like coconut, but found that it lends itself well to caramels. I also found out that when the recipe says "stir constantly" it means stir constantly. I also found out that when the biggest ingredient is butter, you don't have to butter your dish to keep it from sticking. If you do you just get greasy, slippery caramels. I feel like I am having to learn how to cook all over again. At least so far everything has been edible and the kids even ask for me to make things a second time.

I think that just about uses up all my news items. Feel free to go back to your regularly scheduled gloom and doom.

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Indeed.

On a lighter note...

It was a nice day today. The sun was shining, we got the Chirstmas lights taken down and put away. I now feel ready to move into Spring. I noticed that Lindon Nursery has new seeds arriving daily. I better get in and get some before they are all gone. But I am not sure yet what I want. I think I am going to try my hand at square foot gardening this summer. Or maybe I should just till up the entire back yard and turn it into a garden. I wonder if the dogs would help with the weeding?

The school district made a deal with the rec. centers in the cities in district boundaries. Employees were able to purchase a year long pass to one of the rec centers at a huge discount. I debated which one to buy. The city I live in has a brand new, wonderful, state of the art rec. center. But the pool is an out door pool and the pass would not include the pool when it is open in the summer- I am going to have to purchase that anyway. All the other rec centers have indoor pools or a bubble to convert their outdoor pool to an indoor pool. So, I could get passes to a rec center that the boys would use, but I wouldn't, or passes to a rec center where I would use the pool, but have to drive a bit further. I finally choose one of the centers with a pool.

Today we went swimming. And by swimming I mean Jake, Ethan and Brandi swam while I stood in the pool wishing it were warmer and threw pool toys for the kids to swim and retrieve. Alternate that with me sitting in the hot tub. Because I do not know how to swim. Oh sure, I took beginning swimming lessons. Twice. or was it three times? I don't know. I just know that I have always been a teeny bit afraid of drowning. Just remember, I grew up in the desert southwest where any accumulation of water big enough to swim in usually meant that a flash flood was happening. You know that big river, the Rio Grande? Ya, you could walk across it and never get your feet wet most of the time.

I do remember seeing the Gila flooded once. Enough that the road to Grandma's house was closed. The San Francisco usually had water, as did The Blue. We always had time to play in the water at the CatWalk in Glenwood. And what would a trip to Grandma's be if we didn't play in the irrigation ditch? Catching polywogs was my favorite thing to do. Oh, and there is nothing like New Mexico mud between the toes. I miss that.

You know what else I miss? The rain. It does rain everyonce in awhile in southwest New Mexico. And the rain is warm, not like the rain we get in Utah. Here, even in the heat of summer, the rain is cold and I want to come inside and curl up with a blanket. Not in New Mexico. Imagine a warm shower. That is what the rain is like. We used to play in it- dancing and running and having a good time. And you know how in the movies after a rain in the desert the flora come out and blankets the earth in beauty? It really happens like that.

Funny how a trip to the pool would bring back all those memories today.

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Indeed.