Saturday, June 30, 2012

Rambling thoughts

Sometimes it is just hard to come up with a title, you know? Like today, nothing really lends itself to the title except maybe "randomness" or some variation but I get tired of using that.

Spiders like my purse for some reason. Daddy long legs in particular.  Last week at the parade they were all over us.  We must have sat where they had a nest or something.  We were brushing them off of us the entire time we were there.  After the parade, 3 of them came crawling out of my purse.  Creepy.

Then today at Brandi's soccer scrimmage I looked down and one was crawling into my purse.  It ran and hid before I could brush it out.  As we were leaving it crawled out and onto my back.  Think Indiana Jones spiders.  That is how I felt anyway.  Not much in the way of bugs makes me want to squeal like a girl, but huge, leggy spiders? I'm tempted.  Snakes? I would have been squealing for sure so I guess I am glad it was "just" a spider.

I have been having nightmares.  I have had them off and on since I was eight.  And they are scary, can't breath, wake up in a sweaty panic, gasping for air, nightmares.  I know what causes them, and I am powerless to stop them because, without going into full and personal details, they are related to how hard I am fighting to preserve my family and behaviors of other family members.  The harder I fight for my family the worse the nightmares.  It is as if the very powers of darkness are trying to stop me.  Some nights I can feel them coming before I ever go to bed, and don't tell me it is the power of suggestion because I know better. And those nights I sleep with a light on.  Anyway, the last couple of weeks they have been getting worse with last night being the worst in a while. I am tired because I have been without proper sleep for so long.

On an unrelated note, I think, when I got up this morning the middle back of my nightgown was soaked with blood.  I didn't notice it at first because I was in a hurry to get ready for an early morning soccer scrimmage and getting Brandi there in time.  I noticed it when I walked back into my room to get something before we left and saw the blood on my nightgown laying on the foot of my bed.  I went into the bathroom and tried looking at my back, thinking that perhaps I had popped a blister from my sunburn or something, but nothing, nada, zippo. No blisters- popped or otherwise- no marks, bites or scrapes where the blood would have come from.  Brandi said she saw a small pinprick mark, but nothing big enough to warrant that much blood.  It was a bit bigger than a quarter in size. Only my undergarments and my nightgown had it on them, no dried blood on my back or the sheets.  True story.  Maybe if you get hurt in a dream you bleed in real life?

I saw these at the store this morning and am still laughing.

They come in a boy version or a girl version.  You just slip the little alarm in the diaper and when it gets wet you rush your child to the bathroom.  It is supposed to make potty training easier.

My first thought was that for millenia parents have been doing just fine with out a beeper and have we really gotten so lazy/disconnected from our children that we need an alarm to alert us to their patterns and routine?

My second thought, the one I voiced outloud was, "Great, that's all we need as parents- to be at the store and have our children's pants start beeping!"

They were on sale for only $29.99.  I really don't think I would be purchasing this if I still had small ones around. And how is a kid supposed to learn to listen to his/her body if they are waiting for an alarm to tell them when it is time to go to the bathroom. Especially since the alarm doesn't sound until it is wet.  By then isn't it too late?

It's hot.  It is hot by the time I get up between five and six in the morning and the heat is just sucking all desire to do anything right out of me.  I did get my sewing room mostly cleaned up the other day.  I still need to muck out the closet and rearrange the sewing table, but it is better than it has been for the last two years.  I still have the shed and garage and kitchen to do, but I have no gumption to do them.  Between the heat and the yucky, smelly, smoky air I haven't done much outside this summer.  I was going to go hiking, but haven't even done that.  I have done some yoga though and that feels good.

My hometeacher is going to bring his small tiller by next weekend and we are going to pull all the plants in my fairy garden out, till it up and replant.  My pond has a hole in the liner that is unfixable so I need to either take it out and put a new liner in or take it out and fill in the hole and have no pond at all.  I am thinking I may take it out and do this instead because I have almost everything needed and it will take less upkeep and maintainance.  And if I ever move I can take it with me.  Then I can take all the flagstone I have around the pond right now and use it to fill in around the plants when I put them back in making stepping stones (and weed barriers!)

Off to do  more laundry, the real song that never ends.


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

REALLY This world is in such bad shape now, seems no one has the brains to think for themselves anymore. DUH