So true

I got this in an e-mail today. It was attributed to Jeff Foxworthy. I am not sure if it originated with him or not, but these are so true. (my comments in red)

1. YOU might be a school employee if you believe the playground
should be equipped with a Ritalin salt lick.
2. YOU might be a school employee if you want to slap the next person
who says, 'Must be nice to work 8 to 3:30 and have summers off.'
3. YOU might be a school employee if it is difficult to name your own
child because there's no name you can come up with that doesn't
bring high blood pressure as it is uttered.
4. YOU might be a school employee if you can tell it's a full moon or
if it going to rain, snow, hail...anything! without ever looking outside.( and hate incliment weather because the kids have to stay inside)
5. YOU might be a school employee if you believe, 'shallow gene pool'
should have its own box on a report card.
6. YOU might be a school employee if you believe that unspeakable
evils will befall you if anyone says, 'Boy, the kids sure are mellow
today.'(or you try very hard to not even think it)
7. YOU might be a school employee if when out in public, you feel the
urge to snap your fingers at children you do not know and correct
their behavior.(been there done that)
8. YOU might be a school employee if you have no social life between
August and June.( or can barely keep up with you house and kids)
9. YOU might be a school employee if you think people should have
a government permit before being allowed to reproduce.
10. YOU might be a school employee if you wonder how some parents
managed to reproduce.
11. YOU might be a school employee if you laugh uncontrollably when
people refer to the staff room as the 'lounge.'
12. YOU might be a school employee if you encourage an obnoxious
parent to check into charter schools or home schooling and are
willing to donate the U-HAUL boxes should they decide to move
out of district.(done this one as well)
13. YOU might be a school employee if you think caffeine should be
available in intravenous form.(but NEVER, EVER for the students)
14. YOU might be a school employee if you can't imagine how the ACLU
could think that covering your students chair with Velcro and then
requiring uniforms made out of the corresponding Velcro could ever
be misunderstood by the public.(what? someone would have a problem with it? better than duct tape)
15. YOU might be a school employee if meeting a child's parent instantly
answers this question, 'Why is this kid like this?'(said this just last week)
16. YOU might be a school employee if you would choose a mammogram
over a parent conference.
17. YOU might be a school employee if you think someone should invent
antibacterial pencils and crayons...and desks and chairs for that matter!
18. YOU might be a school employee if the words 'I have college debt for
this?' has ever come out of your mouth.
19. YOU might be a school employee if you know how many days, minutes,
and seconds are left in the school year!(see side bar)