Friday, August 8, 2008

Musings on Change

Change is in the air. The only thing constant in life is change. Change is inevitable. A change is coming, I feel it in my bones.

It happens to all of us, change. Sometimes we see it coming, sometimes it creeps up on us and sometime we ignore the warnings and pretend that we are surprised by it. However it happens, it happens.

I have been thinking a lot about this subject lately. Changes that I want to have happen, changes that I don't want to happen, those that are going to happen whether I want them to or not. I do know that there are big changes coming in my life. I just don't know all the whats, whys and hows right now. I do, however, know the signs.

One of my biggests signs is my lack of motivation to do much of anything. Do you remember that big long list of things I was going to accomplish this summer? I didn't get very much of it done. I did paint my basement and Matthew finally finished the pond this week, and I did blow bubbles with Hunter at least once a week. The meteor shower is next week, and you know I will do that. The rest of the list though. I just really didn't care whether I did it or not. The reading? I read, but not as much as I would have liked. I was having a hard time finding things that interested me. The cooking? Again, no interest. My blog side bar is a mess and I just don't want to take the time to clean it up. And this blog? It has been filled with mostly fluff and silliness all summer.

For me, those are all signs that something is about ready to change. I know of one that is coming. I start back to work next week. I will be at a new school with new duties. Oh and a .35 cent/hour raise (that has really got to change). But I don't think that is the change I am waiting for. No, this feels bigger.

There is one big major change that I have been slowly working on, getting things in place and ready. I know for sure when that one happens a lot of other things will change because of it- the biggest source of my stress will be gone and that will allow me to sleep better, feel better, function better. I know when that stress is gone, the 30 pounds I have been fighting for the last 5 years will go away and that in turn will make the RA and AS not as painful. That is one change I am really looking forward to.

For today, at least, I am going to make the change to that lack of enthusiasm. I am going to get up and make a stab at that pile on my desk. Then I am going to look forward and not let change catch me when I am not looking, but face it and embrace it.


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Kimberly said...

Sounds like big things are on the horizon for you. I can identify with that sense of impending change. I fight it sometimes, even though I know it'll be wonderful in the end.

Here's to positive changes happening quickly and smoothly!

ShazBraz said...

here's hopin' its asap!

megan said...

I only like change when it's good like this. I don't like the creepy change. =)

By the way, when I saw you the other day, I thought you were looking great. Maybe you've already started losing some of those pounds you've been fighting?