This I Know

I woke up this morning and wondered if I was going to go to church or not.

It hasn't always been that way with me. For my entire life, if it was Sunday, I got up, got ready and went to church. No questions asked. That's just the way it was. (besides, my mom wouldn't let it be any other way)

But when I moved out of my parent's house and went to college, 2,000 miles away, I still went to church because by then it was not just the way it was, I had a testimony of the truthfullness of the gospel, of the love of the Savior for me and me for Him, of His divine atonement for my sins.

And I continued when I had children and I hoped, despite family circumstances, that I was instilling that same testimony and love in my children. But this morning when I realized that I was deciding whether I was going or not, I started thinking about that. Deciding whether to go or not? When did that start? And why? Because I realized that I have been making that decision every Sunday for a while now.

And then we had a combined Relief Societ/Priesthood meeting and it was about service and I really did not want to sit through that, because really? I just did not want to hear one more lesson on how if we do something nice for someone else, everything will turn out fine. Blah, blah, blah.But I would have had to gather everything and walk to the back of the room, past everyone, in order to get out, so I sat there.

Then the bishop said something.

"Never feel bad about seeking the reward- People get burned out when they continue doing good just for the sake of doing good. If you don't get the rewards- you get burnt out- so don't feel bad about seeking the rewards." (he did clarify that he was not talking about making sure people knew and gave you a high five or something, but the rewards from the Lord)

Yes. That is how I have been feeling. I don't want accolades, or for everyone to see and know, but there are some things that I would like just a teeny bit of reward for. You know all the times I have said, "but I am doing what you asked. I am reading my scriptures, I am going to church, paying my tithing, doing good things, trying to__________... Why do these bad things just keep piling up and why does nothing ever get better for me and my kids?"

I am not sure why I am telling you all this, other than it has been on my mind a lot lately and today even more.

But I do want you to know that I do know the gospel is true. I do know that Jesus lives and that He loves me. And if I continue on, He will bless me for my efforts.

This I know.

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Indeed.

Pick up or delivery?

I was coming home from work and saw a dog walking down the street. He was carring something, but I couldn't tell what it was until he turned around. Ethan was driving so I had him stop so I could take a picture because I thought it was so funny.

Right after I took the picture he turned and went up to the front door.

Delivery Dogs?

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Indeed.

Moral, Ethical Choices

I am going to pose a situation to me and then I want you to tell me your thoughts on it.

Situation:

I have been looking for a particular something for about 2 years or so. It could be new or used, either is fine. I have been saving money for it in case it ends up being new. I have saved "x" amount of dollars.

You aquire 5 sets of said something and plan on selling them. I find out you have the item and I ask you how much you want for one set. You tell me that you are not entirely sure you have a complete set, but you will check and get back to me.

Two weeks go by and you have not contacted me with a selling price so I call you and you tell me you had 5 complete sets and have listed them for sale on the local t.v. channel's classifieds page and if I want one I can go there and purchase one. I ask if one particular one is there because I want that one. You say yes.

You sell that particular item before I get to the site an hour later.

Now my question is this-

Is this morally right?

Is it ethical?

Would your answers be different if I tell you that we have a sort of relationship, you are actually my children's uncle?

Now, keep in mind that I did not ask for said item for free or for a special price, all I asked was a selling price. In fact, I found out the price the item I particularly wanted and it was considerably less than I was willing to pay.

There is the possibility that you assumed that I would not be able to pay your asking price so you didn't even tell me. But I think you should have told me the price and allowed me to say, "No thank-you". Or if you asked me what I felt it was worth, you would have made twice what you got for it.

So, discuss your feelings about the situation.

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Indeed.

Guess What?

Look what came in the mail today!!

Yes!

I am so excited.

And one of the recipes in here is named after me

But that is only because I created it

I got two books so I will be giving one of them away

Right here on The Dance

As soon as I figure out a cute/silly/fun way to do it

But now?

I am off to partake of a little Devil's Food Cake topped with

Sandra's Chocolicious Frosting,

the newest Sadie Hoffmiller Culinary Mystery
By Josi S. Kilpack

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Indeed.

Where has the time gone??

I remember it like it was just yesterday. It feels like it was just yesterday. But it was, in actuallity, 24 years ago that after 24 long excruciating hours of pain I held a tiny 8.5 pound bundle fresh from heaven and felt pure love for the first time.

In those 24 years there have been numerous trips to the emergency room for all kinds of bumps, bruises, and stitches. There have been snips and snails and puppy dog tails. I have learned about dinosaurs, scouts, camping, mountain biking, airplanes, boot camp and war.

I have learned that when I am replaced as first in a child's heart, it can be a good thing and I can love my replacement as much as my child does, and a daughter in law can be a great friend to have.

I have learned that Grandma love is just as pure and heart enlarging as mother love. But different. More. Better.

There have been bad years. Times that I have learned to pray harder than ever before. Years that I questioned my decision to have children. But then the light came again and joy returned with the good times.

And I would do it all over again.

Happy birthday, Donovan. I love you.

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Indeed.

This I Know

Stake Conference today. I am going to let this song testify about what I know, today.

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Indeed.

A letter

Dear employee of H&R Block in PG Utah,

You have an opinion. Good for you. No matter how misguided or stupid or ignorant that opinion is, you are entitled to it. Why? Because you live in The United States of America. A country whose freedom was bought by the blood of soliders willing to secure and defend that freedom.

Men like my son. Yes the son that you harranged and malined while you were preparing his taxes. Your opinion that it is the U.S. military's fault that we are involved in a war is stupid. Your opinion that the only reason wars are ever fought is because Marines enjoy fighting is ignorant. And your reasoning that we would not be at war today had my sons not joined the military leaves me speechless. I am just glad that it did not leave my son speechless.

While I do not approve of his use of words toward you, I feel that you need to be educated. Obviously you did not pay attention in your history nor your government/citizenship class. If you had paid attention, you would be well aware of the myriad of reasons countries fight wars.

You would also understand that these men don't want to die, but they are willing to because they love freedom so much more than bondage of tyrants. You would understand that they leave the comforts of home and family and newborn babies to live in heat and garbage and constant threat of imminent death to procure, protect and defend your right to be ignorant.

I want to make it clear that while I am upset over your opinion, I do understand that you have the right to that opinion. I also believe that you obviously did not pay attention in your business management classes. Perhaps that is the reason you are no longer a manager at the local pizza place. You have not mastered the concept of the customer always being right.

You see, when you work in a service industry, you have to keep the customer happy and if you are spouting off and criticizing the customer the entire time you are with them, they are not going to be happy and you had better believe they will tell friends and family who will tell, who will tell, who will tell... well you get the idea. You will lose business and then you are not going to be happy because your boss will not be happy.

And I just want you to know that if you worked for me you would not only be stupid, uneducated and ignorant, you would also be unemployed.

Any fool can criticize, complain and condem and most do. Here's your sign.

Signed,

A proud Marine Mom

Semper Fi

Just a quick update- I just found out that she is in fact newly unemployed. I am sorry for that because this is a tough time to try and find a job. But apparently this is a pattern with her. And I want everyone to understand, while her opinion did anger me, it was her inappropriate conduct that angered me more. It was her unprofessionalism that cost her her job. As my son said- "She talked herself out of a job." and the company has made it right with my son in a manner that was agreeable to both the company and my son.

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Indeed.

Wipe Out

Wiped.

Completely gone.

Nada

Zip

Zilch

That is what I found when I went to listen to my iPod.

No movies

No playlists

No crooning voices to keep me company

And no scriptures while I walk on the treadmill.

I have no idea why, they were all there 2 days ago

So I guess I get to spend the weekend refilling my iPod and

rebuilding my playlists.

In the meantime, here is my new favorite song

I wonder if tickets are still available for his concert in March...

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Indeed.

Views

Everyone has a viewpoint. And they are all different. Even if we agree with each other, our point of view is still different because we have different life experiences. Speaking of those experiences, even if we have the same one at the same time, we will still see it differently, because we are different people.

Now, I know some people that believe that their viewpoint is the only one that exists and refuse to admit that someone else may have a different point of view. These people also insist that they are right- no.matter.what. And the reason they are right is because they have been to school, read a book, heard about someone's uncle's cousin's brother's dog's vet that had the same experience, so they know more than you.

And sometimes the person believes they are right just to argue. Even if they know they are wrong they will argue. If you say blue, they say white even if they know it is blue. In that case I usually let them be right, because sometimes it comes down to whether you would rather be right than happy.

I have talked about my daddy before. He is one of the wisest men I know. He is kind and loving and tolerant and if I need advice I turn to him. He loves the Lord and tries his best to serve Him. But my daddy is also not afraid to tell you when you are wrong or support you when you are right (or even when you are doing something stupid but think you are right). And there are many days I cry for my daddy and wish he lived closer to me (or me to him- whichever would be fine). **

My daddy has decided to share his point of view with the world via his new blog, View From the Ditch Bank. He'll tell you he is uneducated but don't believe him. Not all education comes from a book nor carries a degree with it. In fact, I know people that have degrees and they don't know very much at all. And if they knew half of what my daddy knew, it would increase their knowledge three or four times over.

So, if you feel inclined, head on over to my daddy's place which is, in his words, in the middle of nowhere, next to the edge of nothing, in the southwest corner of a southwest state of the United States on the third rock from the sun, and take in his View From the Ditch Bank.

**Just an fyi, my mommy is just as smart and wise as he is and I miss her just as much- just this post was about my daddy. Love you guys- thanks for letting me and the kids invade your home at Christmas. It is probably really quiet there now- and not so many dishes to wash ;)

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Indeed

This I Know

We are studying The Old Testament in Sunday School this year. This is one of my favorite books of scripture. I am not a scholar, by any means, but when you understand this book of scripture, it opens all kinds of doors to understanding the rest of the scriptures. The history is phenomenal- I cannot even begin to fathom the age of events in this book.

Someday I would love to visit Old Testament lands and walk the same earth that these people, my brothers and sisters walked so long ago.

But, even if I never, ever make it there This I know:

I know that God lives and that He loves me.
I know that He created this world and everything that is here.
I know He created all things for a divine purpose and that purpose is to allow me to learn and grow and reach and stretch until I have been refined and learned to live and walk by faith. To trust Him. To believe Him. To turn to Him when I need help.
I know He created the sun, the moon the stars. He created the waters and dry earth. The flowers, the trees, the plants, the fish and the birds.
I know He created man in His image and gave him Eve to create families patterened after the family we knew and loved in our pre-earth life.

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Indeed.

Please choose

I spent 2.5 hours at a training for the new system we will be using in the schools next year to keep track of students, their grades, attendance, discipline, scheduling, credits, medical info, etc. It was really boring stuff. They could have e-mailed us our log in and password and then either given us a short word document explaining in 5-6 paragraphs what to do, or just told us to play around with it and I would have learned the same amount of information. Except I couldn't log on because I don't have "security clearance" yet because they don't know how to define my job for the system. I have no idea why they can't just give me the same clearance I have now. And next week I will go to the training for counselors because I am supposed to help with the scheduling for my school for my Practicum class.

I have no idea if I will be able to log on then because of the same issue. The powers that be that sit in the plush offices on the hill and collect the big salaries have no idea what we do on a daily basis in the schools so the decisions they make for us usually end up not being what we really and truly need.

Speaking of dumb decisions, one thing I learned today really and truly made me angry. We have a demographics page for each student. According to our guy at the district the Obama administration (I have no idea who in the administration) each and every student HAS to choose an ethnicity in order for the schools to receive funding.

Are you kidding me????????

That is exactly what I said.

Here are my issues with this:

1. The schools are already underfunded, why punish them because someone doesn't see the necessity in letting you know their skin color?


2. Why is the ethnic makeup of a school's population the business of the government and why should funding be based on that


3. What happens to those students that are bi-racial? Now they have to choose???? and how exactly are they supposed to do that??? I have never, ever chosen a race/ethnicity on anything I fill out for Brandi because I did not want to choose for her, nor do I think it is fair to make her choose. When she is older and if she wants to choose, fine, but now?? Does she choose white because that is the color of the skin of the people she lives with and the color of the skin of her birth mom? Or black because her skin color black and her birth father has black skin? Oh, but her skin is a wonderful sunbaked black- in the summer when she spends time in the sun. In the winter it is a beautiful olive/light brown. Which parentage does she choose to betray?


4. Would a poor rural school that is heavy on the "white" category get as much increased funding as a poor, innercity school that is proportionately higher in the minority category? Because they both need the increased funding- to be able to keep and pay the good teachers and to allow them the extra programs that these students need to succeed.

I do see some reasons why it may be stupid for me to be so upset

1. Schools with a large minority population/large poverty population could use increased funding. This would be an easy way to track that (how is it being tracked now?)


2. Nope, that's pretty much all I've got in this category- help me out if there are more, I may change my mind. Maybe.

I have added two polls regarding this subject in my sidebar. Please take the time to answer- answers are posted anonymously. (the choices in the ethnicity part are the choices we will have in the new system.)

But still feel free to leave me your thoughts in the comment section.

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Indeed.

A Surprise for Mom

Have you seen these?

They are thick pieces of colored string that

are then dipped in multiple layers of wax.

You can then bend them and unbend them and make

all kinds of things with them.

You can take them with you and they are not messy.

And the wax doesn't get hard and break.

I don't know why, but it doesn't.

We have two sets.

Brandi uses them all the time.

Last night I walked down the hall and saw this

on my bedroom door.

Love that girl.

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Indeed.

This I Know

This I know-

When you are mad at God for whatever reason, He will give you opportunities to repent.

The person causing most of your grief in life will continue, causing you to need to kneel down and ask for help and guidance. Or even to just say "I can't do it for one more second and I need help"

The Relief Society secretary will call and ask you to say the opening prayer if you are even entertaining thoughts about not going because of the above mentioned anger problem.

The talks in Sacrament meeting will all be on breaking the pride cycle.

The opening song in Relief Society will be one that always, always, ALWAYS touches your heart.

And you will be crying so hard that it is difficult to pray.

And then the lesson will be on Our Heavenly Father and the teacher will give you a note card and pencil and ask you to write down things you know about Heavenly Father.

And when you are done you will no longer be mad.

And so today I want you to know that I know this for sure,

My Heavenly Father loves me. He knows me. He cares about me. Even when I am whiny and mad about things in my life. He is wise and kind and knows more than I do. He loves perfectly. And someday I will understand. But for today, I know He is there.

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Indeed.

Today

Today I am thankful for:

A warm coat

And gloves

An abundance of food to choose from at the store

A place to store and cook that food

Internet research for school

My washing machine and dryer

Electric lights

My furnace

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Indeed.

Tuesday List

* I saw the podiatrist today for a follow up exam. The reason my foot still hurts and I still feel as if someone beat me on the foot with a baseball bat is because I had a stitch abcess in the wound. One of the internal stitches didn't dissolve and was working its way out. He had to pull it out with tweezers. It hurt. A lot. He wants to see me in 2 weeks to check why my tendons still hurt so much. But he thinks they will be better by then.

*I walked 1 mile on the treadmill after I saw the dr. The wound feels like it is on fire, but I walked.

*We cracked a coconut today. Brandi is in the kitchen trying to take the "strings and hair" off so she can use the shell as a cup.

*I wouldn't let the kids eat all the meat out of the coconut because I am not going to listen them all night.

*I woke up at 1 this morning. I didn't know what woke me up, but I had a hard time going back to sleep. I found out later that there was an earthquake across the lake about the time I woke up.

*I will be doing my internship next school year. I need a paid internship. The principals won't know until March or April what their budgets are or if they can do a paid internship. I asked my principal to keep it in mind. I also e-mailed my old principal from the jr. high to see the possibility of a paid internship with his counseling department. He is going to be the principal at a brand new, just opening this fall school. He said he would let me know. I really need a paid internship. Paid interns get 1/2 of a regular salary and benefits. And if I do an internship at a new school, the chance of staying on full time after the internship ends is huge.

Truly, I don't care where I do my internship, I just need it to be a paid internship.

*I am going to go read for class now.

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Indeed.

Resolutions overheard

I don't make resolutions. My thought is this- if I need to change something, why do I have to wait for the calendar to tell me to do it? I try to do regular inventories and make adjustments as needed. (that doesn't mean I don't set goals or make to do lists this time of year)

Jake and I were discussing this this morning. He started telling me about the Young Men/Young Women dance/activity at the stake center last night. He said that the topic of what resolution everyone was making. This is what he told me he said:

"Well, I'm Mormon so I guess my resolutions better be- 1. Read the Book of Mormon, 2. Lose weight."

I just laughed at him.

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Indeed.

I need help

Ok, Christmas is put away. I am doing the obligatory Jan. 1 vacumming and rearranging of the house. You know, moving the furniture, getting the knick knacks back out and all that. Except, I don't think I am going to have the boys get me the box of knick- knacks out just yet. I kind of like having bare surfaces. In fact I may just not get them out again.

But I do need help with one thing. I have pictures. A lot of pictures. In frames. All over. Sometimes they hung on my wall. Or sat on the mantle or a side table. Lately most of them have been stacked against the wall behind the piano because I didn't know where to rehang them after I painted and changed my color scheme. Now I have new, updated pictures and I don't know what to do with the old ones. You know, the old family pictures of the kids, the ones with just me and the girls and Brandi was 3 and we all wore a tiara. Or the ones with the whole family and are not your standard picture book size. Or the ones that are standard size but have a nice frame.

What do I do with them???? Put them in a box and say that some day I'll deal with them. And just how many boxes do I fill before I do something else?

I am seriously looking for ideas because I am clueless here.

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Indeed.