Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Variations on a Theme

One of my favorite pieces of music is Rachmaninov's "Rhapsody on a Theme by Paganini #18". When I want to relax, I put it on and just breath and relax.

You first hear just the simple soprano notes of a piano, soft and sweet, bringing the theme to you, setting the stage for what is to come.Next, the orchestra joins in with the strings. The full orchestra swells with the music and you are engaged fully in the experience of the music.

The strings show up after the introduction to the theme has passed. They round out the music and take you on a journey where your soul is free to linger as the orchestra and the piano mingle together.

Towards the end of the piece of music, the key is changed to a more minor chord. By itself, this would not be pleasant to listen too. However, because Rachmaninov has paired it with the simple melody introduction, then the full swell of the orchestra, this mixture works to bring us a haunting melody that takes us away to another place and time, brings us back to the present and then lingers to take us back after the song has ended.



Isn't life like that? We start out small and dependent, thinking only of ourselves. As we grow and learn, we are aware of others around us and our lives become intertwined. Hopefully the music we make is beautiful and harmonious.

There are times, though, that the chords are discordinant and the music would seem to be off key. During these times, if we will pair our offerings with those of the Savior, and we remember that we are not the only note in the song, the mixture will take us to another place and time where we can be fine tuned and be brought back into key.

Then when the song of life is over, we will be able to linger in the beautiful music that we called life.



Indeed.

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Another year older

It's my older sister's birthday today. She never reads this blog so I could tell you all kinds of things about her. Things like
  • this is her 4__th birthday
  • How she fell and broke her arm in jr. high and just laughed because she couldn't move her wrist

  • Or that it was her daughter that got married in June
  • Or how she talks in her sleep. And that it is not just random talking. She will carry on a conversation and not remember it in the morning. This is very amusing to the person that she is keeping awake.



She still does it. Her husband told me when I asked
  • Or how she was my best friend growing up, and I was lost when she moved away and went to college 1,000 miles away
  • Or how we used to talk for hours on the phone when she lived in another state, but now that she lives in the same state and we have e-mail, we hardly ever talk
  • I could tell you all those things, but I won't because she never reads my blog and won't know they are here.

    Happy birthday, Dawna







    Indeed.

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    Monday, September 29, 2008

    When you can't make up your mind

    I have all these thoughts jumping around in my head, but none that will gel into a glob big enough to warrant a post, so today will just be some random thoughts that I have had the last couple of days.

    We had goose for dinner tonight. Actually, we were supposed to have goose for dinner tonight. My visiting teachers came over- I forgot they were coming- and the goose cooked too long. It has been decades since I made a meal that was unedible. The cat enjoyed it though.

    Donovan went hunting and he shot the goose. We had to finish cleaning it because he got stung by a wasp and his hand swelled and he couldn't hold it anymore. When I was putting it in the pan, Brandi saw it. She promptly told me that she didn't like goose. I haven't cooked a goose in about 20 years. She's 9. She was glad it was overcooked. She enjoyed her peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

    I don't often purchase chips just to eat but I found these and really like them.
    The good thing is that Ethan and Jake don't really like them, so a bag lasts me longer than a day. I just realized that the bag I have in the pantry has been there for four weeks.

    Or these. No salt and less carbs than regular tortilla chips.


    Karlene and her daughter went on a road trip this past summer. They did a lot of driving, and stopping, and site seeing and blog posting. During the stopping parts they purchased souvenirs and then during the blog posting they gave them away. I won some of them and was supposed to blog about them. I didn't do that. OOps. Good thing Karlene loves me anyway, huh?

    Here is what I won



    Two Sobe Cranberry Grapefruit drinks, a box of Crystal Light, sugar free Russel Stover Noogie, Protein bars, a deck of Mt. Rushmore playing cards and a Marine bear pin.
    I don't understand the whole bailout thing. I don't understand the hows and whys of it. Someone want to explain it to me in simple terms? (without the politics- I just want why we need it and how it works) And why does no one ever bail me out when my balance is low?
    I am still looking for a pair of white pumps. I can't find any and now it is fall so I probably still won't be able to find any. I did find these at Mervyn's though. Too bad I can't wear heels that high anymore.





    I'm glad homecoming week is over at the school. I didn't get home untl after 10 pm most nights last week. I'm tired. I think I'll go to bed.



    Indeed.

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    Sunday, September 28, 2008

    50 things

    I have been trying to put together a post on a sacrament hymn and the word meanings, but it just won't pull itself together. So Jessica and I drove into Provo to a beautiful park and she took some photos of me. Mother/daughter bonding time. We haven't done that in a long time.

    When we got back, I still could not get the hymn post to work out, so when I saw this on Sharon's blog- I copied. But big sisters can do that and not get in trouble. I'm not going to tag anyone specifically; if you are reading this, consider yourself tagged!


    1. Do you like blue cheese? No

    2. Have you ever smoked a cigarette? No

    3. Do you own a gun? Me no, but they are here in the house belonging to my sons

    4. What flavor do you add to your drink at Sonic? Um, I don't remember the last time I went to Sonic

    5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointment? Not usually

    6. What do you think of hot dogs ? Disgusting

    7. Favorite Christmas Song? I have to choose? Let it Be Christmas, or Joy to the World

    8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Water or tomato juice

    9. Can you do push-ups? Probably

    10. What is your favorite movie? Depends on my mood. Could be Run Away Bride, or Castaway, or Stargate, or Pirates (1 or 2- 3 not so much), something mooshy and romantic or something sci-fi. I don't know. If I had to pick just one- probably Top Hat with Fred Astair and Ginger Rogers for the dancing

    11. What's your favorite piece of jewelry? Again with the choosing. I'm the one that had to go on a jewlery diet. Ok- the turquoise ring Mom and Dad had made for me when I was 12. Or the silver bracelet I wore today. No, no the bracelet I made last week, or....

    12. Favorite hobby? Refinishing furniture, working in the flower garden, cooking, reading

    13. Do you work with people who idolize you? no

    14. Do you have ADD? no

    15. What's one trait that you hate about yourself? I cry easily

    16. What's your middle name? Starts with L

    17. Name three thoughts at this moment:
    I wonder how much a plumber is going to cost, I forgot to get soy bars to take to work, why has the cat decided that he has to sit on my feet

    18. Name 3 things you bought yesterday: books for Hunter from Seagull's discount table. 3 books and spent less than $5

    19. Current worry right now? how to pay for my Master's program

    21. Current hate right now? That things are not moving a bit quicker

    22. Favorite place to be? With family

    23. How did you bring in the New Year? At home with the kids

    24. Where would you like to go? Somewhere that the architecture is old.

    25. Name three people who will complete this? Tawnya, Loretta, Karlene

    26. Who's answer do you want to read the most? everyone's

    27. What color shirt are you wearing? White dress with pink trim

    28. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? Don't know

    29. Can you whistle? Yes and do it often

    30. Favorite color? Green or Purple

    31. Would you be a pirate? Only for Halloween

    32. What songs do you sing in the shower? Whatever song came on with the radio alarm

    33. Favorite girl's name? Emma or Hannah

    34. Favorite boy's name? Matthew

    35. What's in your pocket right now? no pockets

    36. Last thing (Person) that made you laugh? Jess and I being silly while she was taking my picture

    37. Best bed sheets as a child? fresh washed sheets, off of the clothes line

    38. Worst injury you've ever had? When I broke my foot

    39. What is your favorite snack? Fresh strawberries

    40. Favorite thing to do on Sundays? read, play games with the kids, take a walk

    41. Who is your loudest friend? Not saying

    42. How many dogs do you have? 2- both Donovan's

    43. Does someone have a crush on you? Don't think so

    45. What is your favorite book? Anything written by David G. Woolley

    46. What is your favorite candy? Carmel- the good expensive kind

    47. What is your favorite sports team? Used to be the Jazz, but I haven't had time for sports lately, so I don't know

    48. What song do you want played at your funeral? Lead Kindly Light or Though Deepening Trials or even Oh, May My Soul Commune with Thee

    49. What were you doing 12 AM last night? Putting in a load of laundry, locking the doors and heading to bed after Matt came home

    50. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up this morning? I hate that stupid alarm



    Indeed.

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    Friday, September 26, 2008

    Do I have stupid written on my forehead?

    My sister posted about phone calls the other day. We were laughing about it in the office when the phone rings. I answered it. This is what followed:

    Me- "High school attendance office."

    Caller- "Um, I'm Shawna Sluffer's* dad and I need to excuse her from 4th period today."

    Me- "Ok. Let me look her up on the computer." I pull up her attendance and notice that she missed that class on Tue- unexcused. She has missed that class, unexcused a lot. She also has quiet a few other random unexcused abscences.

    Me- " I see she missed the same class on Tue. Should that have been excused as well?"

    Dad- "Oh, um, yeah, yeah."

    Me- kind of suspicious because he doesn't sound like he knows what is going on. "I notice she has some other unexcused abscences on the 18th. Should we have taken care of these already?"

    Dad- Um, Really? Well, lets just excuse all of her abscences this year. Yeah, let's do that."

    Me- "Ok, I can do that. I will need to ask your name in order to do this."

    By now I was pretty sure it wasn't dad. His hanging up the phone when I asked his name almost confirmed it for me. The clincher came when I called dad, asked if he had just called to excuse his daughter and he said no. Wouldn't want to be her when dad got home last night.

    *name has been changed



    Indeed.

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    Thursday, September 25, 2008

    It's your birthday



    It's my daddy's birthday today.

    You can go here to read what I wrote about what a great man he is.


    Love you Daddy. Hope it is a good day!
    Have a great weekend in the temple.


    Indeed.

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    Tuesday, September 23, 2008

    Autumn Time

    It is the first full week of fall. How do I know? Firstly, the calendar says so. Secondly, we are having the craziest weather, one day it is 80+* and the next day it is 50* and the day after that it is raining almost 90* again! Autum in the Rockies, almost like springtime in the Rockies.

    Thirdly, marching band is in full swing, or should I say step. We are beginning the round of fall marching band competitions this week. I love a good marching band. I am really hoping that the band my boys participate in is a good band this year. Competition brackets were redrawn and we are 1 member too many to compete in the bracket we usually compete in, but ah well, I will still be there at each and every competition, cheering and hoping that the sheer will of my wanting them to do well, will help them acheive success.

    Fourthly, the morning weather is suggesting boots, and cordoroy, and jackets with a hint of hot chocolate and chili. Soon the temperature will linger on into the rest of the days to hint of the fun of fall to come.

    Now, where is my blanket, my stadium seat, my jacket, hot chocolate and my favorite marching band?



    Indeed.

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    Monday, September 22, 2008

    I should have made a right turn in Alburquerque

    Can I just complain a bit here? Who designed the little itty bitty unlit street signs on the corners of the streets in Salt Lake City? Really people. I always get lost when I go to Salt Lake. And I am sure that it has nothing to do with the fact that I hate to drive there, or that I never know where I am going and have no idea if I am headed north, south, east, west, up, down, over, under, or through. No, I know it is all the fault of whoever decided that the street signs should be teeny, in the corner and unlit.

    I was making a quick little 1 hour trip tonight. I had an Urban Botanic order to deliver in West Jordan. No big deal, I have been to her house before. I have a party in West Valley on Saturday. Then I found out that David Woolley was doing a book signing just a few block from the party site and it would start about 1/2 hour before I need to be at the party.

    Here was my plan for tonight:

    Drive to the bookstore to make sure I knew where it is. Drive from the bookstore to the party address so I could time it to make sure I would have enough time to do both. Then go from the party address to the delivery home. I did fine until I exited the freeway. And I am blaming Jacob because he didn't understand the google map instructions and I missed the first turn because he couldn't tell me if I should go left or right. I went left. I should have gone right. And it went downhill from there.

    I finally found the bookstore. Once I found Redwood Road, and was headed the right direction, finding the bookstore was easy. Well, easy after a couple of U turns Next, just a small 10 mile trip to the party addrss. Except the road the map wanted me to take? It doesn't exist! And I am pretty sure that entering the turn lane where I did would have been frowned on by law enforcement. But the signs are so tiny and unlit and I couldn't see them until I was almost under them. I finally found it after a bunch of backtracking. Someone really should light these signs, or make them bigger or cut the trees in front of them or something.

    The delivery was easy after this, but only because I had been there before. The easiest part? Coming home. But only because I have been here before.

    So, I decided a couple of things tonight.

    • I am glad I tried driving it tonight so I that I am not lost on Saturday
    • I will leave in time to be early to the bookstore
    • I will have the hostess give me directions to her house from the bookstore
    • I was just kidding about blaming Jacob. That turned into a teaching moment about one wrong turn taking us so far off course when we realized that how close we had been to start with
    • Street signs in Salt Lake are way to small and dark
    • I need a GPS



    Indeed.

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    Sunday, September 21, 2008

    My favorite painting

    I am a chicken, a fraidy cat, sleep with the light on afraid of the dark kind of person. When I was little, younger than 10, the church house that we attended meetings in was a scary place. It had a basement and everyone knows that the boogie man lives in basements. In this particular church, the older children said he lived in the closet in the first classroom at the bottom of the stairs. I hated going downstairs. There were only two classrooms and the only way to get to the second classroom was through the first. Past the closet. Didn't happen very often and never alone.

    Upstairs wasn't too bad. Chapel, Primary room with baptismal font, Bishop's office. Those are the rooms I remember, probably because they are the rooms I was in the most. My favorite room was the chapel. I can close my eyes and see it still. The long aisles, the pews, the choir seats where Elva pinched me during the Primary program and made me cry when I was four. I never did like her very much. But my favorite part of this room? It hung on the wall and it has always brought me peace.


    And I knew that the boogie man would never bother me so long as He was watching over me.

    A smaller sun faded version hangs in my kitchen. Now I can sleep with the light off.




    Indeed.

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    Saturday, September 20, 2008

    Day of Remembrance

    I have made no secret of the fact that David G. Woolley is my favorite author. So you know that if I am going to review a book written by him, that it will be a positive review. So I guess I could just say, "Wonderful book. His Promised Land series is great. Get them, read them, love them." But that would not do justice to this book. Or the series. But let me try to put into words how I feel having just finished Day of Remembrance, book 4 in the series.


    There are all kinds of books. Books you read over and over, books you love, books you read and promptly forget you read. Then there are the books you read that change your life, change who you are. Day of Rembrance by David G. Woolley is one such book. David Woolley has a way of telling, writing, imparting a story that reaches deep inside to my soul and resonates with the fibre of my very being. And when I finish with one of his books I am left longing for more. I feel a shift inside, a change of who I am and how I see the world. I want to go back to the scriptures and read them again with this knew knowledge, this new insight.

    And I want book 5 to be published already!

    So, Day of Remembrance. Book 4 in The Promised Land series. From the inside flap and the back cover:

    Old World 600 B.C.: Under mandate from their prophet-father, the sons of Lehi face treachery and lethal danger as they seek to secure the brass plates from the ruthless Captain Laban. Meanwhile, Zoram and Elizabeth work feverishly to smith new plates and engrave the prophecies of Jeremiah--a vital task that must be completed before the Feast of the Trumpets, celebrated on the Day of Remembrance.

    Old World, 19th Century: In his home built above the remains of Laban's treasury, Sephardic Jew Reuben Kessler anticipates the marriage of his son Danny on the Day of Remembrance. When tragedy strikes on the blessed day, the devastated fathers of the bride and groom must cling to their faith that God will remember His covenant people.

    New World, 19th Century: Commissioned by the Angel Moroni, Joseph Smith Jr. endures harrowing challenges as he prepares to receive the plates of Gold and translate them into the Book of Mormon. The fulfillment of ancient promises draws near as Joseph returns each year to the Hill Cumorah on the Day of Remembrance.

    Three families, three stories—yet in the grand design of the Lord, they intertwine as one. This fourth volume in the Promised Land saga bridges ancient and modern times to reveal the unfolding of a marvelous work and a wonder.

    Cover Back Liner

    Jeremiah held his hand to is mouth and coughed before saying, "Hidden in the calendar given to Moses is the appointed day for the record to come forth in the fullness of times...I must ready the brass plates to have part in that future Day of Remembrance, and curse any man who seeks to stop me, curse him to death."

    Emotionally thrilling, spiritually uplifting, and richly satisfying, Day of Remembrance is the powerful story of the restoration of a timeless principle...kept alive in a brass-plate record sequestered deep in the treasury of Laban, captain of the Israelite guard at the turn of the sixth century before Christ.

    This magnificent fourth volume in the Promised Land series takes the reader on a journey that is bold and sweeping in its scope, from the dangerous and intriguing politics of Jerusalem in 589 B.C., to the travails of Lehi and his family in the Sinai wilderness, to a nineteenth-century setting in the Old City of Jerusalem, and on to a young prophet in Palmyra New York, poised on the brink of the most significant events of the latter days.

    This is David Woolley as his best. A matchless mixture of robust writing and meticulous research that deftly weaves together the human and divine strands to produce a tapestry of faith, obedience, and courage against all odds, where success seems impossible, but failure is unthinkable. The stunning impact of this story will linger long after the last pages have been turned.

    I loved this story, this section of the series. I was happy to see old friends again. It has been five long years since book three. I was thrilled with the new friends introduced to us and mourned the circumstances of saddness in their lives. I am enriched with the new ideas and knowledge gained. Insights gleaned, new thoughts to ponder. But I will admit to somethings I didn't like and I will start with them.

    1. There is a marriage proposal in ch.9 that really irritated me. Guy hasn't seen girl in a while, he has been busy. Really and truly busy. Girl starts thinks guy doesn't like her anymore. Guy shows up with a rose and girl immediatly thinks he has come to break up with her. Guy never really asks her to marry him and for a moment there is silly miscommunication about what they are talking about until mom steps in and straightens it out. Those types of proposals irritate me to no end. If you can't communicate any better than that, you have no business getting married. But I got over it. And this particular engagement has my curiosity piqued.

    2. David and I actually had a "conversation" about my second problem. It went like this:

    Sandra said...
    I told the kids that I am blaming you for me leaving the house late this morning. I was really just going to read one chapter while I ate breakfast. That would have been ok, if I had read only one chapter. And I am not happy about the ending of Ch.21

    David G. Woolley said...
    So blame me, Sandra. I checked Chapter 21. You're right. Its a real bummer. From beginning to end. Really sorry about that. But did it draw you into the story deeper, or what?

    Sandra said...
    You're right, it is a bummer chapter, but most of it is historical, the ending could have been different- no? And yes, when I was done being mad at you, it drew me deeper into the story.

    Now, you will just have to read the book to know why I was not happy. I think I know why it ended the way it did. Maybe. I am hoping that David will further that in future books as well and my thoughts will be either rewarded or changed or challenged or whatever.

    3. The book was not long enough and book 5 doesn't come out for 12 more long excruciating months!

    Now for what I liked about the book.

    Pages 1-378

    Ok, I'll be serious.

    1.Chapter notes. There is so much to the timing of Heaven that I never even realized, thought about or even knew I should be thinking about. The historical background and scripture references deepen the story.

    2.The way Lehi treats Sariah is wonderful. If all husbands treated their wives with such love, tenderness and caring, there would be no broken homes.

    3.Sariah. I always picture her the way we see her in this painting, old and weary. I forget that she was not always this person. She was young. She was beautiful. She had dreams. She was the wife of a wealthy man and lived in comfort. All that was taken from her and she followed the man that she loved. She became discouraged. She even murmured against her husband. David shows us the thought process that could have possibly led Sariah to murmur against Lehi. He also shows us her repentant heart. He shows us her deep love for her family, her children, even when they have gone astray and turn from all that she has taught them. He shows us her discomfort as she is fleeing her home and has to carry a baby to term in the wilderness and then give birth in a tent. Her deep despair when she believes that her children, her sons, are dead, never to return to her.

    4. Laban and Zadock and their deep evilness, selfishness, greediness. Bad guys through and through. Truly creepy guys. Zadock makes my blood run chill. He would be a poster boy for the recruiting of evil minnions. And Laban, probably has the young girls falling at his feet, if he ever took the time to think of something besides power and glory. Truly the kind of guy your mom warns you about. And in this book you have no problem seeing him for who he truly is.

    5. Laman and Lemuel. I liked how Lemuel tried to think for himself in this volume. No longer does Laman do all the thinking and speaking. Lemuel becomes his own person and makes his own choices. Of course they are not the right choices, but at least they are his. And Laman. Could there be a more selfish person? He really should read the chapter notes about the planets and their revolutions and then he would perhaps begin to realize that no, the earth does not revolve around him.

    6. I wish we saw and understood more about Sam. However, the chapter where Nephi and Sam are digging clay (I never thought about clay having to be dug and what that takes) is my favorite chapter with Sam. Here is where we see him the most as a member of the family and not just an extra filler person in the story.

    7. Oh my favorite scene- when Nephi cut off Captain Laban's head. Now, since this book is based on the Book of Mormon and most of my readers have read the Book of Mormon that this happens won't be a surprise. For those of you that haven't read The Book of Mormon yet, it is scripture and as we all know, not everything that happens in the scriptures is pretty.

    Now as to why this was my favorite scene. Every time I read The Book of Mormon and I get to this part, it seems so sanitary. Nephi finds Laban delivered into his hands, he is commanded to cut off his head, he does, he dons Laban's clothes and goes and gets the brass plates. Done. And I always think, but wouldn't there be a lot of blood. What about the splatter? How does he cut off Laban's head and not get blood all over both of their clothes. Doesn't Zoram see the blood and why does he just ignore it? Wouldn't you be freaked out if your boss came to you covered in blood and calmly asks you to open the vault and go with him? Would you just ask how his meeting went? "So, boss, I see you are covered in blood. Tough meeting, huh?" I know.

    But not in Day of Remembrance. There is blood and it is not sanitary and clean and done, give me the plates and let's go. Finally, someone else that gets it. Thank you. Oh, and the chapter notes for this scene are great.

    8. The story of Joseph Smith getting the plates from Angel Moroni. A story of a young man helping his struggling family out of their hardship. A story of a young man learning and growing into a spiritual man, a prophet of God, called to bring forth the covenants, to usher in the dispensation of the fullness of the gospel. Called to do it on The Day of Remembrance.

    I know I am leaving out a lot. But to tell you everything I loved about the book, I would have to retype the whole book! Really. Or do a book report or we should sit down and talk, or you should just go get it, read it, love it, get the rest of the series and then you will know for yourself.

    Purchase the book here.

    Side note from David G. Woolley's blog :

    The Top of the Morning staff is pleased to announce that beginning this coming Monday, September 22nd, the anniversary of Joseph Smith's annual visits with the resurrected prophet Moroni, and ending one week later on Monday, September 29th, the ancient Jewish Feast of Trumpets celebrated on ha-Zikaron, author David G. Woolley will present a week-long series of posts titled Celebrating the Day of Remembrance (ha-Zikaron). A special introductory post titled On This Night will appear Sunday evening, September 21st. Join us for a week of celebration with posts commemorating this holiday season including The Feast of Trumpets, The Timing of Heaven Part II, The Gathering, Moroni, Sariah's Dream, the Brass Plates and more.



    Indeed.

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    The problem with words

    I am trying to write my review of Day of Remembrance. The problem I am running into is this- I have to use words and they are not adequate for what I want to say, how I feel, what I want you to know and feel about this book.

    I will keep working on it and post it this afternoon.



    Indeed.

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    Thursday, September 18, 2008

    Options

    I decided to do some more exploring of the option of going back to school and doing a Master's program. I drove down to the local University of Phoenix this afternoon. The enrollment counselor was not in. I did get her phone number though and left her a message. She just called back. Classes for my program are not usually offered at the campus closest to my home. This session they are. The session starts next week.

    That is a little fast for me. She did tell me that there is another session that starts in Oct. I would be required to take one class at a neighboring campus though. I can do that. Classes are on Wed. evenings. I don't have anything scheduled on Wed. evenings. I am ready. Let's do it. Going back to school.

    Two big hurdles, though. I don't have a babysitter on Wed. evenings and tuition is more than pocket change. But the benifits to my little family are huge. Perhaps this is one of those learning to trust in the Lord things?



    Indeed.

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    Wednesday, September 17, 2008

    To everything there is a time

    We had a different kind of stake conference a couple of weeks ago. We gathered in our stake center as usual, but the conference was shown by video feed to stakes in Utah county, Wasatch county and the BYU stakes. We heard from Elder Marlin K. Jensen (Hi Allison), Ann Dibb, Boyd K Packer, and Dieter F. Uchtdorf. It was a great conference and I didn't want it to end. I would have been happy to stay for the second session, the re-broadcast, and hear it all again. I am going to have to see if it was recorded and get a copy if it was.

    While I loved all the talks and took a lot of notes, it is Pres. Uchtdorf's talk that touched my spirit the most. His is the talk that I felt was meant just for me. That he was speaking to me personally, one on one, heart to heart. It was answer to questions, thoughts, themes I have had in my mind for a while now. And it was some of the same council that I have been receiving from my bishop and daddy, but it put some things a bit more into place for me. While the big picture is still not perfectly clear, it is easier to see and the outlines of shapes are beginning to form.

    He spoke about increasing our faith in our Heavenly Father and in Jesus Christ. He asked us what we are personally doing to increase this faith. Are our answers quick and shallow, you know, the Sunday School answers? Or are they soul searching, deep and ispired for our situation? Pres. Uchtdorf then went on to state that when we are ready, we can then be taught from on high, but that our answers will follow God's timetable, but when the time comes, we must follow the instructions if we want to be blessed with increased faith.

    This seems to be a recurring theme for me lately. There is a situation in my life that I would like changed, yesterday already please. In one way or another, I keep being told, In the Lord's time it will happen and it will be great when it does, but not yet, not yet, not yet. I used to think I was patient person, but I am beginning to think that patience is one of the things I am being taught. Patience and the willingness to listen and obey.

    As I am reading Day of Remembrance, the timing of heaven is a running theme. So many things I never thought of, or thought to think of. I am once again humbled by my lack, by my impatience, by my mortal short sightedness. When I think I know so much better what is right and best for me and my kids, I really need to stop and listen and trust. The Lord knows what and when is best.

    Pres. Uchtdorf also gave us three daily practices that will help us to succeed in this life.

    1. Always hold a current temple recommend

    2. Study the word of God daily. Doing this will bring us closer to God. It will also make our homes a place of refuge from the world.

    3. Speak with our Father in Heaven. We should let no day pass with out speaking with Him.

    There was so much more to his talk, so many more things that touched my heart but I am having a hard time sharing them in such a public forum. One thing I had not remembered until I looked at my notes again to type this, the closing song was "I Stand All Amazed". Perhaps that is why it touched me so strongly this past Sunday?

    I am so very much looking forward to General Conference in two weeks. Who knows what great morsels I will be able to glean from those talks.



    Indeed.

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    What I did today







    These go in the little baggie with a note from the high school. I didn't show the note because it has the highschool adress on it and I don't know how to shade that and Jess isn't here to show me. They are called pocket flags and our service men carry them in their pocket as a little piece of home. Guess who will get the two I did this afternoon? There is a special note on the back of the highschool note.
    I knew all those years of being den mom and practicing flag folding again and again would come in handy.







    Indeed.

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    Monday, September 15, 2008

    When I said I was fine, I lied

    Trevor and Donovan had drill this weekend. But that is normal because they have drill the second weekend every month. However, when Trevor got home he reminded me that he flies out this coming Sunday. This? Sunday!! True, he will be back on the 30th for a couple of weeks and then he is gone again until Thanksgiving when he will be here for 2 days, then they are gone for the duration. Overseas. To the war. Where people want to kill them.

    I realized something this weekend. All those times that people asked me if it would be hard to have two of my boys gone, or if sending them to war is scary, and I flippantly said, "Nope, not scary. I'm proud of my boys." Well, all those times, I was lying. Trevor reminded me of his flying out and I started hyperventilating. I almost cried (which really isn't saying much, I cry all the time). I went and washed the dishes.

    To keep my mind off of the fact that he is leaving, I started making a list of all the things I need him to do in the next week:

    The brakes on the Durango are squealing, I need him to check them out. Oh and change the oil while he is at it. Oh, and the furnace will need a new filter and the water drained from the swamp cooler. I need help cleaning up the garage and re-arranging all the camping stuff, hauling all the junk away. Then there is the Christmas decorations to get down and put back. And what if the vacuum breaks? And there is a cracked tile in the bathroom and I think there is water leaking under it. I know the bathroom ceiling downstairs needs redone. And, and, and...

    I know I will get by and these things will somehow get taken care of, but I'm not fine. I'm proud, I'm scared and I'm not going to think about it any more tonight.



    Indeed.

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    Sunday, September 14, 2008

    I Stand All Amazed

    We had an amazing stake conference last week and I intended to blog about lessons learned, prayers answered, thoughts and feelings. I am finding that a hard thing to do. Most of what I want to say is best said face to face and heart to heart. I will still work on it and share some of the less personally sacred parts here with you.

    In the meantime, this is what touched my soul today at church. Lately I feel a stretching, almost a newness to my understanding. Things that I knew and understood before seem as if I am seeing, hearing and understanding on a new and different level. The sacrament hymns have always been my favorite hymns, but each week I am humbled anew by my deficits and the love of my Savior extended to me.

    Today it was this hymn that had the tears streaming and me feeling unworthy and ungracious. So rebellious and proud.




    I will revisit this hymn at a later date and spend some time on the words and their meanings as I usually do, but today I just want the Spirit to dwell and hope that it touches you. I will leave you with my testimony that I know that the Savior lives. That He loves me. That He willingly gave His life to atone for my willful disobedience, for my inadequacies, my sadness , my pain and anguish, the mistakes that I have no idea or ability how to rectify. And I am thankful.

    I Stand All Amazed
    lyrics by Charles H. Gabriel


    I stand all amazed at the love Jesus offers me,
    Confused at the grace that so fully he proffers me.
    I tremble to know that for me he was crucified,
    That for me, a sinner, he suffered, he bled and died.


    Oh, it is wonderful that he should care for me
    Enough to die for me!
    Oh, it is wonderful, wonderful to me!


    I marvel that he would descend from his throne divine
    To rescue a soul so rebellious and proud as mine,
    That he should extend his great love unto such as I,
    Sufficient to own, to redeem, and to justify.


    Oh, it is wonderful that he should care for me
    Enough to die for me!
    Oh, it is wonderful, wonderful to me!


    I think of his hands pierced and bleeding to pay the debt!
    Such mercy, such love, and devotion can I forget?
    No, no, I will praise and adore at the mercy seat,
    Until at the glorified throne I kneel at his feet.


    Oh, it is wonderful that he should care for me
    Enough to die for me!
    Oh, it is wonderful, wonderful to me!








    Indeed.

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    Friday, September 12, 2008

    Moods

    Let me just say to start off, I am not in a good mood. Remember that really super good day I had earlier? Today was the opposite. It was just a frustrating day with computer programs not working right at the school and a couple of snotty students, but then I got home and it went downhill fast until I was in a "don't talk to me or I'll bite your head off" mood.

    And I haven't been able to read as much as I would like- I'm only on Chapter 7, pg. 65 for Pete's sake! Are you kidding me? I have had this book for 4 days now. I should be done already. Not improving my mood. And I'm tired. I should go to bed, but I need to finish up the laundry because I won't be able to do it tomorrow.

    I need to print some things for the festival tomorrow, but my internet wasn't working till a couple of minutes ago. It rained last week and it has been sort of off and on for the last couple of days. Then today, it just quit and the service provider said that maybe if he thought about it he would work on it tomorrow evening. My guess is that he changed or fixed someone else's on the network and whenever he does that, it ALWAYS messes up mine. Always. Without fail. And I have to call him and tell him. Why doesn't he just fix theirs, check mine, fix it and then I don't have to ever know? I finally just reconfigured my set up as if it was brand new.

    And I have 3 Urban Botanic orders that need to be delivered- yesterday already- and a party that I need to close but it is too late to call the hostess and I hope I have everything I need for the Heritage Festival tomorrow and the kids lost some of the corner pieces to the gazebo frame and it is 9:00 and I wanted to have the Suburban loaded by 5 and Ethan put my white tablecloth in with my black apron and that with the towels so there is lint all over the apron and....

    I guess I better just drink a glass of water and breathe. Ok, Trevor just found the pieces, the gazebo is in the Suburban, the table cloth looks fine, I have a lint roller, I ate some cantaloupe, drank some water and put the last load of clothes in the dryer and Jess said she would do the rest of it tomorrow.

    I feel better already. Thanks.



    Indeed.

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    Thursday, September 11, 2008

    The Santa Letters


    One year ago on Christmas Eve, William died. For Emma Jensen, the hit-and-run driver killed more than her husband; he killed her joy in Christmas and in every other day of the year.
    Now, as Christmas approaches again, Emma finds herself sinking into a depression that nothing can breach-- not her job, not her love for her family, and certainly not the season. The Jensen children understand that Christmas will be strained this year-- all except 6-year-old McKenna. Of all the family, only she still believes in the magic of Christmas, and in miracles.
    But that is about to change.
    When an ornate letter and a mysterious package arrive on the doorstep, Emma and her sons find themselves joining McKenna on a magical journey to Christmas. Each day, a package and a letter signed Santa arrive for the Jensens, and as the meaning ofthe Santa Letters unfold, the Jensens come to realize that the joy of Christmas does not have to be lost forever- and that William may be closer than they think.
    This year, the Santa Letters will take the Jensens ona Christmas experience that will show God's love can heal any wound, no matter how deep.


    I love Christmas. It is my favorite time of the year. The decorations, the lights, the happiness, the music, the presents, the smells, the colors, the stories. With my first glimpse of this book I knew that I would love it too. The cover is a deep, deep red- almost maroon with fancy gold lettering and it just evokes that wonderful peace of Santa's love. Just holding it made me want to get out all the decorations and start filling my house with cheer. But I didn't.

    No, I opened the book and read instead. I read of a happy loving family. Then I read of that same family torn with the unneccesary death of their husband and father and the depths of despair that the mother is feeling. Emma, the mother, is barely holding it together. She has sunk into such a deep depression that life is almost unbearable for her. Her biggest nightmare has come true and she cannot imagine living without her dear William. But, she must, as there are children to take care of, bills to pay and Christmas to try and celebrate.

    Enter Santa. Santa has watched Emma turn from her usual happy, cheerful self to a shell of a person. Santa knows that something must be done to help Emma deal with her grief and start living again. So he devises a plan. Each and every day, starting with Dec. 13, Santa delivers a letter and some goodies to the family to help them realize that all is not lost. At first, Emma thinks that someone is playing a cruel joke on her family and that Christmas will be spoiled forever for them when they realize that there is really no such thing as Christmas magic. Then, with each passing day, Emma begins to look forward to the letters. She even begins to live her life again and start to find some happiness in what is still here for her.

    Through the letters, the Jensen family learns the true meaning of Christmas and service and love. As you read, you too, will find these things. This is truly a story to be told again, and again. It will hold a special place on my bookshelf.

    If, after readng, you would like to participate in helping someone find the true happiness of the season, Stacy has provided downloadable templates of Santa letters for us to use. Just go here and then go spread some Christmas cheer.


    Buy the book here

    Official Santa Letter webpage here





    Indeed.

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    Wednesday, September 10, 2008

    It's In the bag

    My sister tagged me to share what is in my Sunday bag. So, here we go:

    This is my bag. I got it free with a coupon. I got a new quad and it fits perfect in this bag.

    Contents:

    My quad, Teachings of the Presidents of the Church of Jesus Christ: Joseph Smith,Book of Mormon class member study guide, Mini hymn book, pad of paper for note taking, 2 Relief Society announcement papers, a stray cough drop, 1 tithing receipt, small paper with this month's Relief Society song to memorize.

    In the small inside pocket:
    1 mechanical pencil, 1 black ink pen, 2 red scripture marking pencils, 3 tithing receipts, 6 tithing envelopes and slips, 2 slips of paper with Relief Society scriptures of the month for memorization, 5x7 laminated copy of The Family- A Proclamation to the World- on the back is a copy of Four-ward and Four- ever, (a paper my dad gave me a few years ago with things that his ward was doing to strengthen family and ward), a 5x7 laminated copy of my patriarichal blessing


    Temporary things or things that make you say Hmm?
    1 purple Jolly Rancher (I think this was part of a lesson in Relief Society about a month ago- I don't eat them, so I must have just thrown it in the bag when class was over), 1 paperclip, a bag of 12 different colored buttons, 5 magnets, Primary lesson manual and a bag of candy.
    The buttons were used as markers in a game we played when I substituted in Brandi's class about a month ago. The magnets were used to hang the Title of Liberty and a map of the battles of Moroni and the stripling warriors the next week when I subbed again. The manual and bag of candy are from 2 weeks ago when I subbed yet again. We had stake conference last week and the teacher hasn't come and gotten the manual yet. She gave me the candy to give to the class as a incentive to be good. 1. it was fast Sunday- so I didn't use it, 2. I don't believe in candy as an incentive or substitute for preparation and engaging lessons.
    I took out the Sunday School lesson books. I am the permanent Sunday School substitute and for a while I took all the books with me in case someone didn't show up and I was needed last minute, but it was too heavy to carry as a just in case, and if I am really needed last minute, it is a short walk around the corner to come back and get the specific book I need.
    Notice that there was not a Primary song book in my bag.
    Tomorrow will be a book review post for a blog tour. After that, I will be reading.

    Indeed.

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    Tuesday, September 9, 2008

    Perfect days

    Have you ever had one of those days that was almost perfect? As perfect as could be for your current circumstances? I had one of those days today:

    1. Day of Remebrance is out today.

    2. Work was busy and I got an e-mail from the principal with an offer of a possible change in job and income for next year (just possible, but still)

    3. Day of Remembrance is out today and I have my copy and have started it

    4. I had a UB party to do tonight. I love doing UB parties. And it was great party

    5. Day of Remembrance

    6. I had a UB conference call tonight (that I missed because of #4, but it is recorded so I can listen later) There was a surprise announced on the call. I happened to know about the surprise early and was able to announce it at the party- first customers to know about the new Scent of the Month club. McKenna even e-mailed me the flyers early to take to the party. And I even sold some subscriptions to the new club.

    7. I found out that there is still booth space available for Saturday's Heritage festival. The best thing about that? Booth space is free this year.

    8. Oh, and did I mention, Day of Remembrance is out today and I have one? just checking




    Indeed.

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    It's about time!!

    Today is the long awaited day!


    Day of Remembrance by David G. Woolley is here! I tried to get them over at Seagull book to let me have my copy last night, but no dice. Even though it is sitting under the counter with my name on it- can't get it early. And since I will be at work when they open, I will be making a detour on my way home from work. 2:30 never seemed so far away.

    I do have a couple of posts that I really want to write- one is a tag from Sharon and one from my notes on this past Sunday's stake conference.

    But after that, if you don't hear from me for a while, don't worry too much, I will just be immersed in the pages of Day of Remembrance. It's about time.




    Indeed.

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    Sunday, September 7, 2008

    Special Days

    Today is my Grandmother's birthday. The mother of my daddy. What a great woman she is. I was going to write a wonderful tribute to her today, send her a card and call her. I got the flu, didn't feel good, barely made it to work most of this week, didn't make it to the post office and spent 8 hrs. today sewing chevrons on my boys' marine blouses. And yes, the military calls the uniform shirts a blouse.

    But back to my grandmother- Evelyn Reynold Hulsey. Born Sept 7, 19__ (not sure she would want me to tell you)


    Here she is as a young woman. Isn't she a beauty?


    Her young family:
    Corwin, Eloise, Grandpa, Grandma, Gary (my dad), Steven
    Kay, Richard



    With Grandpa at the ranch


    On her mission at the family history center in Salt Lake in 1992


    June 2008 at her great grandaughter Shayla's wedding

    Happy birthday Grandma!





    Indeed.

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